Page 52 of At The End Of The Day

“What about him?”

Clucking my teeth, I spun the chair and crossed my arms to face him, not even trying to hide my heartache.

His eyelids rounding, he sat on the edge of the bed, gripping the mattress to lean forward. “Oh. So, uh, B-Billy…he ain’t just a friend, is he?”

“No, he wasn’t,” I sighed, scratching an eyebrow with my thumb.

He frowned and then twisted his lips to the side to chew his cheek. “Wasn’t.”

I recrossed my arms and held my elbows, a knee bouncing. “I’ve decided to walk away.”

“Why?”

Snorting, I shook my head and gazed off to the side. “Because he got married a few years ago.”

Out the corner of my eye, I saw him flinch. “How long was you two a thing?”

Growing uncomfortable, I tugged at the thighs of my jeans and shifted my weight. “Since we was fifteen.”

He blew a long, soft whistle. “Damn, Vin. That’s a long time.”

“Yeup,” I sighed, reaching behind to snatch the cigarettes. Lighting one, I set them back on the desk and squinted against the smoke.

He did a doubletake, his jaw falling as the color drained from his skin. “Whoa. Since you was fifteen? Hey, uh, Vin? H-Has…has Billy been the only…”

Grimacing, I coughed and looked away, thumbing my nose. “I mean, once in jail, I let someone suck my dick. And then.” I squirmed a bit, a light sheening of perspiration coating my skin. “You.”

“Whoa,” he said again with a whistle.

I spun the chair back around and cursed, humiliated. This was not a conversation I wanted to have, especially with him.

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I sure as hell never would have guessed it.”

My brows furrowing, I spun once more to face him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

He snorted and motioned at the window. “Dude, you…” A nervous chuckled hitched the back of his throat. “I mean, you…” He huffed and pulled at his nape, his chin bowed so he was gazing through his lashes. “I never woulda guessed he was the only one.”

Narrowing my lids, I muttered, “Is that a good thing or bad thing?”

Snickering, his arms shrugged out, his palms slapping to his thighs. “I’m a self-professed homophobe and I begged you to fuck me.”

Heat shot to my head, a sudden inhale flaring my nostrils. Staring him down a moment, I eventually heaved a sigh and looked away to take a drag. “I got no business doing that to you, man. I’m all fucked in my head because of everything, and now you know about Billy and…I ain’t got no business messing with you like that.”

His profile to me, a muscle in his jaw flexed, his fingers tapping the corner of the mattress. “Yeah, probably.” His chin bowed, he added with a gravelly tone, “Don’t change the fact I ain’t been able to cum but twice since you first touched me.”

Excitement swirled my stomach and shallowed my breath. There was even a trace of disappointment and anger. “You came?” I almost snarled. When did that happen? I had not given him permission.

One shoulder lifted before he sat up and folded his arms. A knee bouncing, he grew visibly anxious. “I mean, yeah, but the first time fucking hurt and the second.” His lips grew taut and he stiffly shook his head. “The other I just felt really gross afterward,” he grumbled, uncrossing his arms to pick at the sheet.

“Gross? Why gross?”

He kept casting fleeting glimpses that wouldn’t last more than a few seconds. Barely above a whisper, he muttered, “It wasn’t you. It felt gross. Wrong.”

My heart lurched and I tingled everywhere, heat spreading throughout my system. Banging on my ribs, I was panting, emotions and thoughts clouding my brain. Setting the cigarette in the ashtray, I stood and slowly crossed the wide room, going more on instinct than common sense.

A couple feet away, Dash finally turned and gazed up at me, his chest heaving faster and faster. When I was right in front of him, my fingers curled into my palm, my knuckles gliding over his cheek. His pupils dilated, his irises glossing. I hooked his nape and gently urged him to stand, our stare never breaking. Bit by bit, I leaned in, my mouth hovering near his. A pressure on my chest, I saw the red flags and heard the warning bells, but by this point, there was nothing to be done. I was falling for Dash. Yet again, I was falling in love with a man I could never have, destroying an amazing friendship.

At my hesitancy, his chin jutted forward and he claimed the kiss I’d been holding back. Neither of us closing our eyes, his tongue flicked against my teeth, prompting me to part them so it could sweep over mine. One hand cupping the side of my neck, the other tucked beneath my tee shirt to splay across my back. When he closed the tiny gap between us, his bulge pressed right against mine perfectly.