Page 108 of At The End Of The Day

“I dunno. Cows, horses, goats? I think some chickens?”

“Shit. Well, we’ll figure out something.” He rolled his head to peer at me with a small smile. “You and Tiny talked a long goddamn time when she called you back after dinner.”

My pulse fluttered with absolute adoration. My sister was fucking remarkable. She always considered me her hero, but the feeling was quite mutual. No one could hold a candle to Violetta.

“Yeah, we went through a lot of things.”

“Billy?” he asked quietly.

My smile fell and grief overwrought my system in the blink of an eye. Turning my face back into the mattress, I heaved a long sigh. I still couldn’t believe he was gone. More than once, I’d caught myself checking my cellphone, looking for his texts. There would never be another new one, the last was the one telling me about his wife leaving for the weekend.

Dash grunted in pain to roll to his side, his arm sliding across my back. “It’s okay to mourn him and still love me, you know that, right?”

I peeked over my bicep once more, my insides shrinking. “That obvious, huh?”

One side of his face scrunched. “Good thing about becoming lovers after over a decade of friendship. I know you.” He sighed, petting from the top of my head, down my back, over and over. “I still miss Mary sometimes.”

That had me a little worried, my stomach flipping over. “There’s a big difference, Dash. That’s a woman, your wife, when you’ve been a homophobe your whole life.”

He scooted closer, the arm beneath him rising to rest that hand on the other shoulder. “Don’t matter who she was, Vin. It matters what I feel. What you make me feel.”

My breaths shallowing, my mouth ran dry. “And what do I make you feel?”

A long, slow breath puffed out his nostrils to fill his lungs. Holding it a moment, he sighed it out on a whispered reply. “In a nutshell, whole.”

That response had my chest fluttering, but the doubt tamped it down before it got out of hand. There was always a hitch; somewhere, some time, there would be an ah ha moment when everything came crashing down. History proved it was nearby. “Things are about to get tense, though.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

“When we stand in front of the Serpents, and The Boss tells them I am going to be the new leader and that we’re together, are you going to flake out on me?”

A muscle in his jaw flexed. “No.”

“Dash, everyone knows you hate gay people. Hell, most of them have made hateful jokes right along with you. In fact.” I sat up on my elbows, my hands clasped, to look down, anger rising. “If I recall correctly, one of the reasons I took the fall for you was because you was already on probation for beating up a gay couple. They wasn’t doing nothing but holding hands and walking down the street and you and Sam jumped them.”

He huffed and rolled to his back, his arm under his head again, that other hand tapping his chest. “Yeah, I know.”

“So, when we stand in front of sixty men and women and Boss tells them you are now gay, are you gonna flake or are you gonna take a stand?”

He tipped his head to the side to glare, his lips taut. “I ain’t running from nothing. I never have, I never will.”

A glimmer of hope trickled through my veins. “And when they ask how you, the most hateful homophobe in the group, is suddenly gay, what’re you gonna say?”

One side of his mouth lifting, he said, “I’m gonna tell them the truth. You edged me for almost a month, broke me down, and had me begging for that gorgeous dick like a fucking simp and now I’m hooked.”

For a moment, I had no words, just stared. Snorting, I bowed my chin and cradled my forehead. “Jesus, Dash. Don’t fucking tell them that.”

“Why not? It’s true.”

“Because it makes me sound like I fucking preyed on you, and I don’t think that’s a good look this soon after Jackyl.”

Though his smile faltered at the mention of his name, he maintained the light mood. “You kinda didn’t give me a chance to say no, Vin.”

Arching a brow, I leaned into the elbow closest him and whispered, “And when you slip me benzos to ride my dick, are you giving me the chance to say no?”

He turned ghostly white, eyes bulging, jaw gaping. Sheening with perspiration, he was panting heavily, panic rising in his dark eyes.

“Didn’t think I knew about that, huh?”