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“Funny,” Drake says beside me, softly.

I snap to him. “What?”

“You acted as if the thought had never crossed your mind. You made him think it didn’t.”

I narrow my eyes. “What thought?”

He speaks with almost relish. “The thought of killing them all.”

I freeze.

“I never thought that.”

He smirks.

“Didn’t you?”

My pulse spikes. I feel the way a mouse must feel, bleeding out in a trap.

Because, he’s right.

And I’d be lying to him – and myself – if I tried to convince him otherwise.

It’s beside the point. We can say nothing else to each other, as at that moment Dezeeves resumes his seat, another drink in his hand, and the world moves on.

CHAPTER 14

The Sacrifices of Others

Dinner wraps up quickly after that. No dessert is offered.

And I’m tired now. I breeze into my cabin quickly. Keep my back to Cosmer the whole time I undress.

In just my undergarments and a clean blouse, I climb into my bed, facing the wall.

I can hear Cosmer climbing into his.

We lie like that. Eventually the light goes out, leaving us in darkness.

I need to sleep, and I know I’m tired. So why do I feel so awake?

“Ara?” Cosmer says. It makes me jolt.

“Hmm?” I manage.

“Is everything okay between us?”

“Yes. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“I don’t know. I seem to keep offending you. I promise you, I’ve never had any intention of doing that.”

Intentions. Choices and intentions. Which one makes you a good man, and which makes you a bad one? Dezeeves hadn’t said.

I search for the right answer.

“I know that. And I know I’m probably being too sensitive. It’s being up here. I’m not coping very well.”

Cosmer shifts in his sheets. “Not coping? Ara. The way you handled what happened at dinner. It was incredible. You sent away his food like you were embarrassed for him or something – and trying to spare him his dignity. When you had every right to behave much worse than you did.” Quieter, through breaths, he says, “I’m sorry, Ara, that you had to experience that at all. I don’t know what Dezeeves was thinking. It was cruel. And I hope you’re all right.”