Page 193 of Carousel

Dezeeves, Meg, Drake. A dangerous alliance is stacking up against me.

“And where is Ephraine?” Riss hisses. “He’d have to be dead to miss an execution. I don’t think Dezeeves has ever led one before.”

“He must be speaking to The Assembly.”

Maybe tonight is the last night Dezeeves will have us all playing games of his invention.

“I hate him,” I spit.

“Ephraine?”

“No. Dezeeves.” I loop my arm in hers. “Did you see how drugged up Cosmer was? To drug your own son like that… Does osimidite even do that to a person? He had no idea where he was or what was going on.”

“It can. You’d have to inhale a lot of it. And…”

“What?”

“Well. That much osimidite could kill you. They call it The Happy Death. It wouldn’t be the first time a soldier has died that way.” Her voice lifts. “To give that much to a recovering addict…” She exhales harshly, like she’s fighting off a scream. “Dezeeves barely sees him. He doesn’t care. But we’ll be picking up the pieces for years.”

She’s right. Cosmer and I will have osimidite hanging over our heads, maybe forever.

I glare at nothing. Feel hollow.

I’m disgusted. Utterly, furiously, disgusted.

Dezeeves.

What kind of monster is he?

Rike catches up to me in the queue for dinner.

“Congratulations,” he beams.

I have absolutely no clue what he is talking about. After what I just witnessed, I don’t think there is anything left in this world worth congratulating.

“Sorry?”

He indicates my uniform. “You FI’d.”

“Oh. Yes.”

“I knew you would learn quickly.” He motions with his shaved head. “Let’s catch up on each other properly, now we can. I really have been wanting to.”

“Yes,” I say again, even though I know that won’t be happening. I don’t trust any of the FIs. They’re all cowardly or stupid enough to swear loyalty to a tyrant Queen.

I don’t want them dead, and I hope Ephraine will spare them.

But there are consequences to actions. And these are theirs.

At least, I think to myself, as Riss and I sit at a bench with our bowls, Cosmer is free. And I’ve FI’d. We can be together, whenever he’s ready.

Riss has plucked out a bone from her stew and is sucking on it. It would be the most unladylike thing I’ve ever seen if it wasn’t so endearing when she does it with her little fingers.

Why hadn’t I liked her to begin with? She’s a little rough around the edges. But she’s a good person.

And a true friend.

“We’ll help each other, won’t we?” I say. “When we’ve got Cosmer back.”