Page 326 of Axis of Fire

Their voices grew fainter with every passing second.

More distant.

More muffled.

Until I disappeared into it all.

Completely.

Illariana Arden’s POV

Never in my life had I felt more foolish.

It felt as though shame and self-reproach had woven themselves into a blanket and wrapped themselves around me.

I sat on the balcony in my pajamas, a white silk robe draped around my shoulders.

The evening in Magicslan had turned unexpectedly cold.

Under normal circumstances, I would have gone back inside long ago.

But right now, I was ruled by embarrassment.

And regret.

I still couldn't believe that half an hour earlier, I had actually been ready to give myself to Airis.

And he had refused.

Not because he didn't want me.

But because he was protecting walls I hadn't even realized existed.

I had thought that if I let go of everything and walked straight into my fear, everything would become easier.

Clearer.

Lighter.

Instead, after everything that had happened, I felt even more closed off than before.

Another gust of wind brushed across my face.

It felt almost judgmental.

As though it, too, was punishing me for my convictions.

For my courage.

Or maybe it hadn't been courage at all.

Maybe it had only been cowardice disguised as bravery.

After all, I still hadn't admitted that what I felt for Airis had long since become something deeper than physical attraction.

The soft patter of rain made me frown as I pulled the robe tighter around myself.

Damn.