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I'm still not sure how badly I'm going to regret this, but for now, oh just for now…

My hands curve over his shoulders as his movements pick up speed, tears burning behind my lids at the increasing fierceness of his possession. It’s too much, but I want more. I feel like I’m about to go crazy, but I also hope it’s never going to end.

“R-Ruel, p-please…”

And when passion overtakes us both like an explosive, all-consuming rush of heat⁠—

Ah.

I shatter first, but my beautiful, fierce husband is right behind me.

“Karyna.”

He says my name in a rough, low voice, and the sound of it has me wrapping my arms around his neck⁠—

I can feel it building again as he starts moving anew, and it’s at that moment I realize the truth.

One day, this mistake will break my heart.

But until then…

Part Two

Chapter 4

Not Like This

Iknow people are going to say I’m silly for thinking this (and maybe shameless as well), but hear me out, okay?

It’s a nice and lazy day, the kind that makes me feel extra warm and cozy in my layers of clothing. Despite the chilly air—cold enough to make my nose sting a little—it’s still the kind of day you want to enjoy outdoors, and so we’re relaxing in our lounge chairs while waiting for either of our fishing rods to twitch.

The silence between us is calming, the kind that invites the occasional deep reflection, and that’s why…

Since we’re already fishing, why not take the chance to fish for something nice to hear as well, and that’s how I hear myself ask⁠—

"Do you think there's any chance you'd ask me out if we didn't meet the way we did?"

I look at my husband expectantly, but Ruel’s gaze is on the snow-capped mountains across from us.

Oh no, you don’t.

So much has changed between us in the past eighteen months we’ve been together, living as husband and wife. Or maybe, it’s safer to say that he’s changed…me. To the point that I can’t even remember who I used to be before Ruel. I know I used to feel alone and scared most of the time, but now…

“Ahem.”

I clear my throat a few more times until Ruel finally looks at me.

“I miss it,” he says finally.

Riiiight.

He says he misses it, and I…don’t get it.

“Miss what?” I ask.

"The days you were still scared of me,” he says matter-of-factly, “and so you didn’t waste my time talking my head off⁠—”

I choke back a laugh.