Page 42 of The Cheerleader

He nods, but I see a flash of something on his face before he retreats to his cool mask of indifference. He’s not indifferent.

“What about you? You always have that I don’t need anyone attitude? Which is strange for a guy on a football team with forty other guys, by the way.”

“What makes you⁠—”

“You didn’t go with your team to Rapp’s.” I watch his reaction. Nothing. He’s so good at not getting rattled, I’m almost envious. He’s content to walk in silence, but I’m not. I need to unravel him somehow.

“You an only child too?” I ask.

He keeps staring ahead, no change in his pace, no stumbling to a stop, no nothing—except when I look at his profile, I see his jaw tighten, clenching slightly. Bingo. I hit a nerve without even meaning to. I wait a few beats before I prod him, but he surprises me with an answer.

“Yes and no.”

“What kind of answer is that?”

“It’s the only one I have.” He turns to me now, and the sadness in his eyes takes me aback, makes me wish he’d kept his cool because it draws me in, makes me feel… too much.

“What do you mean?” I finally ask.

“I had a brother. And now I don’t.”

Something about the finality of his statement, the barely banked anger in his tone, makes me drop it. I don’t even tell him how sorry I am because he’s the last one who would want a useless platitude no matter how sincere.

As we walk in silence, stopping when we reach my dorm, I promise myself I’ll find out more, and I’ll find the words or gesture or something to erase that profound sadness I saw in him. The need to make him smile takes on a mission-like level of importance.

“How about if we meet tomorrow after dinner? At my dorm?” I hold my breath, unsure if he’s actually ready to accept my help or if he’ll make an excuse.

“I’ll come over after practice.”

Chapter Ten

Bryan

After practice, with my ribs wrapped in ice again, I make the short walk to Susie’s dorm in West Campus. I’m hungry. The only meal the team feeds us is the night before a game. I won’t be eating until I get back to the apartment. If the guys left me some dinner, I hope it’s edible.

As soon as I push open the door, she’s the first thing I see, sitting on one of the three matching couches that are all covered in some kind of brownish tweed. She leans over some papers splayed out on the rectangular oak coffee table. I know my wood thanks to the Arboriculture 101 course I took last year.

As I walk toward her, admiring her concentration, I notice the clean gold shag carpeting, the light-colored drapes, and a big 26-inch console TV. The homey space reminds me of a nice living room, like the one in my aunt’s home—before she passed away.

Susie looks up, her pretty sun-kissed face automatically forming a smile. I stop. And stare.

“Sit down.” She pats the couch next to her like we’re on a study date instead of teacher and student. While a big part of me is noticeably excited about the idea, I know it’s a bad one. The last thing I want to do is hurt Liz by openly flirting—or whatever—with her best friend.

“Let’s sit at a table in the dining room,” I say.

She scoops up the papers, stacking them and pushing them into a folder as she stands. “Good idea.” Her cheeks look pinker than before, and the idea that I’ve embarrassed her gives me a pinprick of pleasure.

I am going to hell one of these days.

I precede her into the dining room on the other side of the hallway with the stairs that lead up to the rooms. I know the layout of these dorms because I lived in one like it my freshman year. It was an all-guys dorm, and it was a dump compared to the all-girls version.

Glancing up the stairs, I wonder what her room is like. Shit. Who the fuck cares? I’m never going to see the inside of Susie Bennett’s dorm room, that’s for damn sure. She’s Liz’s roommate.

“Where’s Liz?”

She shrugs one shoulder and looks away. “I told her you would be here, and she… meant to come down and say hello.” There’s one of those pauses that kicks my heartrate up because it spells trouble.

She finally looks me in the eye. “She fell asleep. I think she might have been drinking before dinner.”