Page 62 of He Has Charm

“What? Tell me everything. Tell me the absolute truth, Maddox.”

“I can’t make promises to you, Harper. I’m not a wedding bells and picket fence with a family kind of guy.” These are the exact words I knew I was going to hear, the words I’ve been guarding against for weeks and weeks. I should be prepared, but tears pop and gather, then stream down my face and I don’t bother stopping them.

“You said you had feelings,” I say and want to bite my tongue off.

“I do, sugar buns.” He strokes my face. “But not… I can’t commit to you. Can’t make any promises beyond here and now.” He heaves a deep sigh and lets out a shaky breath. “And I can’t lead you on to think that there will ever be a … happy ever after.”

“I don’t understand,” I barely get out the words. Because this makes no sense. I can feel the emotion and caring coming from him. Why can’t he change?

I’m so confused. He should be able to change his mind about bachelorhood, shouldn’t he? I can see the pain in his eyes and could swear he feels the same way I do, that he’s falling for me whether he admits it fully or not.

“Why?” I swipe the tears from my face and sit up. “Katy said you have a good reason for being a bachelor.” He flinches and surprise flashes in his eyes. “What is it? Maybe I don’t have a right to know, but it sure as hell feels like I do right now.”

“You do have a right. Because I’m asking you to be with me without a commitment. And I know very well that goes against who you are and how you feel.”

“Tell me. Please.” I hate that I’m begging and wonder, really, will it make me feel any better knowing why he’ll never commit to me, that he’ll always reserve the right to move on to the next woman? I doubt it.

But I hope so much that his reason is as good as promised. Almost as much as I hope I can shoot his fucking reason full of holes and kill it dead.

He sits up and swings his legs over the edge of the bed, facing away from me. Panic wells up that he’s not going to tell me, that he’s going to walk away. I move over and kneel behind him, shamelessly wrapping my arms around him.

“Don’t go,” I whisper in his ear. He flinches and turns to me.

“I wasn’t going anywhere, Harper.” He stares at me, pain filling those gorgeous eyes. My heart clenches because I’ve pushed him too far. “This is hard for me. I’ve only ever talked about it to my mom and sisters.” He snorts derisively. “And I don’t even like talking to them about it.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, you don’t need to—”

He catches my hand as I caress his chest and kisses it.

“Yes I do. Don’t stop me now that I’ve dug up some courage. Not sure if I’ll ever find it again.” He smiles at me, a sad smile. Then he moves back onto the bed, sitting up against the pillows, and pulls me onto his lap so that I’m straddling him. Our most intimate places are cushioned together, warm and lush and alive with nerves and energy as I settle my pussy on top of his half-dormant cock. The other half is coming back to life under me and I stifle a moan.

“Are you sure this is the best position to talk?”

He nods, his face perfectly serious, no smirk whatsoever as he hugs me close so my breasts smash against his chest.

“It’s the perfect position, because we can’t be more intimately connected than this.” He shudders a breath. “And what I’m going to tell you is the deepest secret of my life.” His mouth is so close, I breathe in his words and feel his emotion like it’s mine.

“I understand perfectly,” I say. He nods and stares into my eyes.

“My father died of a sudden heart attack when I was twelve,” he starts, his voice breaking. He clears his throat. “Turns out he had dilated cardiomyopathy—a fatally enlarged heart. In his case the cause was genetic. And I’ve inherited the gene.” He takes a deep breath and when he lets it out slow, I breathe it in, my heart thudding fast against his. His precious flawed heart.

Twenty

Maddox

My heart races, the traitorous fucker. But I go on because she needs to know. I’ve kept the secret from everyone since we found out fifteen years ago, but now there’s a need to share and I’m not sure why—or I refuse to admit why—but I’m sure that Harper needs to know.

“I went through a battery of tests that confirmed I inherited the gene for my dad’s heart condition. Luckily my two sisters didn’t inherit the trait. But I’m officially at risk for Dilated Cardiomyopathy and I’m monitored regularly for signs of the condition.”

“Oh.” Her voice is strangled. “What is dilated cardio…?” She waves a shaky hand, her emerald eyes sparkling with endless compassion.

“It’s a condition where your lower chambers, the ventricles, enlarge over time. I don’t have symptoms—yet. But I have an increased risk for the condition, which can cause life-threatening heart rhythm abnormalities.” I pause, trying to control the sadness, trying not to feel overwhelmed and looking to lighten it up. But I can’t sugarcoat this for her. It’s too important.

“Translation—I’m at risk for sudden and premature heart failure. Like my dad. But don’t worry. I have regular checkups to look for possible symptoms and signs. They’ll put me on medication, or a pacemaker if need be, as soon as anything shows up and that usually prevents the acute symptoms, I’m told.”

“I—Jett, the agency never knew. What does the team think of this?” She turns away but I hear the sense of betrayal in her voice.

“Nothing. They don’t know. I have my own private cardiologist in New York. They do cardiac testing and physical examinations periodically. Eventually, when and if symptoms show up and I need to take medication to prevent acute enlargement of my heart, that will be the end of my career.”