Page 25 of Your Kiss Is On My List

“I think she likes Randy,” she says. That’s when I know this night’s gone to hell.

Randy Bane stands like everything is settled and walks to the door.

“I’ll leave now. I think you need some alone time.” The suggestive look on his face grates on me because it’s not a suggestion I can afford. And because he’s right—and at the same time so very wrong.

If I have alone time with Dani right now, all the wrong kinds of things will happen and we’ll end up in that twilight zone again where I hate myself and we’re only friends from afar. I can’t let things go in that direction.

As soon as Bane pulls the door closed behind him, I stand and move from her orbit, far enough so that her scent can’t reach me. Not far enough so I don’t see the look on her face, the one that tells me she has not-so-innocent thoughts. But I’ve thought that before and was wrong, wasn’t I?

“You should go too. I… need to sleep.” Her face closes up, something I don’t see too often and it scares the hell out of me, breaks my heart because I don’t even want to guess what feelings she’s covering up, don’t want to think I’ve hurt her, miscalculated yet again. “Dani I….” Have no fucking idea what to say to her.

I know what I should say, that we have no business carrying on this charade of a relationship, that we have no business even thinking about crossing those lines, that pretending that we’re lovers is killing me because I want to be her lover so bad I jack off every night thinking about her.

But I can’t say any of that, can’t share any of the truths raging in my head, torturing me. Either because I’m a chickenshit or because I don’t want to scare her or hurt her or don’t trust myself to know what’s right and what’s wrong anymore, I have no fucking idea.

“You’re right. I—we shouldn’t have barged in on you. I should blame the whiskey, but…” She looks away, bites her lip, and I can’t help myself, I go back and sit next to her on my bed. Shit.

“Dani, it’s okay—”

“I was going to say, but I wanted to see you and congratulate you.” Her eyes tell me she adores me and I know it’s because I’m her friend, her honorary big brother protector keeping all the unwanted guys away. That was the deal, wasn’t it? Play your role. She doesn’t want a boyfriend right now. She doesn’t want that kind of relationship with anyone.

So why would she want that with you?

Rolling my shoulders to ease the tension, I close my eyes for a blink and get my shit together, fighting the effects of the whiskey and exhaustion.

“I’m glad you came by.” I smile. Everything in me, most notably my dick, is screaming I want you to stay. I ignore the truth. “You know you’re always welcome, but I do need some shut-eye.”

Her blinding smile hits me just before the peck on my cheek, then she bounces from the bed like it’s the middle of the day and heads for the door.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, baby.”

“Can’t wait, doll.” The soul-lifting sound of her laugh wafts behind her as she leaves, echoing through me like a song that’ll replay in my head all night into my dreams. I collapse back onto my bed and squeeze my eyes shut, unsure if I can stand being so close to her without touching her again.

Very sure that I need her in my life one way or another. Having her back has been like going from living in twilight to living a full Technicolor life. And dreaming about her with new hope is what keeps the nightmares of that bloody incident away every night.

Except I have no idea what I’m hoping for anymore.

Chapter 10

DANI

“Are you nervous?” Heather asks. I smile as I jockey for position outside the locker room door. There’s a crowd of press and we all have cameras. Heather shouldn’t be here but she begged me to come along, more jittery for me than I am for myself. And maybe that’s all wrong.

“Not so much nervous as excited, but in a low-key way.”

“That’s right. You’ve done this before. You’re already a pro at talking in front of a camera but I would die the first time.” She’s talking fast and I put a hand on her shoulder.

“It’s getting crowded here. Can you do me a favor and—”

“Oh of course.” She backs away before I finish my sentence. I wasn’t going to ask her to leave.

“No, I just meant—” My sentence is cut off when the locker room door opens and Coach Maroni appears. I swing around and signal to the camera guy to roll as I step up front and center.

“Hello, gentlemen,” Coach says, then turns to me and says, “And lady.” He doesn’t smile, not exactly, and I get the idea it’s not his thing. My next idea is to make it my mission to force the man to smile and have him grinning by the last game of the playoffs, win or lose.

“Coach, what was the best moment of the game?” I ask at the same time as three others ask their questions, and we all hover our mics in front of him.

“Ladies before gentlemen,” he says and turns to me. “The best play was the last one, the save before the buzzer, when I knew we won.”