Page 55 of Notorious Man on Campus

Is this the ultimate payback by Nyla for my relegating her to a one-night-stand? My heart hammers and I force myself to stand there watching them. She looks happy and fuck if guilt doesn’t strangle me. Jimmy’s her first love. I never stood a chance. Never deserved a chance.

Before they can get to the field, to me, I turn away. Trotting into the tunnel, I ignore a half dozen reporters calling out questions and trying to stop me and too many cameras to count. By the time I get to the locker room my heart is on fire, and I feel like I’m about to turn into a pile of fucking ash.

As the guys fill the room around me, they slap my back, celebrating, and happy. My smirk is brittle, but no one notices. I sit on the bench at my locker and try not to think, to just breathe, to be still for a few minutes as if I can re-write the script, and un-see what I just saw. Because it makes no fucking sense whatsoever.

After I undress, I stretch my shower to ten minutes but Coach doesn’t let me get away with avoiding the media for long. My name gets called for the third time and I shut off the water. Suck it up and act like you’re thrilled. Winning is everything, isn’t it? The only sure thing.

Fuck. I hate it when I’m right.

Was I secretly hoping I was all wrong about Nyla? That she would be the one exception to the rule about never trusting a female, never engage in a romantic relationship?

Fuck me for being a fool. I wrap myself in a towel and allow a siege of reporters to corner me on the bench near my locker. Luckily the cameras are waiting outside for me to finish dressing and I take more questions on film in the press room with coach at my side.

“How does it feel to be responsible for the biggest comeback in SPU history against a tough opponent you’re likely to face again in a bowl game if not the national championship?”

“It’s a fucking thrill.” I grin like I mean it, but the grin is for coach who kicks me behind the podium for swearing on camera. Cheap thrill because I need something to stop me from thinking about Jimmy and Nyla together again. You had your chance.

“You had your chance and you took it,” Voland says. “What was the game changer for you?” I stare at him shocked for a second and then shake my head. “My brother.” It’s the truth in more ways than one. “He’s here watching. The great SPU legend Jimmy Blanick.” I say the words half ironically since his legend is more about his crash and burn than his success, though it shouldn’t be that way. Voland almost hides his surprise, because he’s a pro, he moves on.

I survive the rest of the press conference, regaining my famous Brick-like poise. When I head back into the locker room instead of out to the hallway to the exit where friends and family wait, coach follows me.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“What could possibly be wrong, coach? We just won a big game and I’m going to the homecoming party with my best girl.” I figure an ironic reminder is in order. Plus it’s a good excuse for my less than thrilled mood. He nods.

“Right. I forgot about that. Well, good work today, son. It’ll go a long way to solidify your draft prospects.” He slaps my back and leaves me to myself in the empty locker room.

Draft prospects for the NFL improved. There’s that. The one and only reason I’m bothering to take Willow Ford, a girl I can barely tolerate, to the Homecoming party. I do it for football, the one thing that never fails me, the most important thing in my life. I don’t care about Willow and I care a great deal about football so it should be easy. Fucking piece of cake.

Then why does the prospect of placating Willow for the sake of football taste like acid in my mouth and go down about as smoothly?

Chapter 25

Nyla

It’s been more than thirty minutes and we’re still standing in the waiting area outside the locker rooms. Jimmy has been holding court non-stop with fans and players talking about the game and Brick’s NFL prospects, everything but Jimmy’s football career. It can’t be comfortable for him, but you’d never know it because Jimmy always grins and means it.

I’m worried and I pull Jimmy aside when there’s a break in his conversation.

“I think Brick is avoiding us.” He laughs. Of course. Everything is funny to him. Normally it’s a charming quality, but with my heart palpitating and nerves firing like crazy about the upcoming conversation between Jimmy and Brick and all that’s riding on it, I’m not charmed.

“No way.”

“You saw his face. He practically ran from us.”

“He probably thinks we’re together.”

Horrified because I didn’t dare voice the concern out loud, my stomach rolls over and my heart pummels my ribcage in protest.

“Jimmy, that’s the worst possible thing he could think. How could he think that I would change my mind about him and start seeing you again after four years.”

“I thought you said you two weren’t together? Besides, we’ll make it right as soon as we see him and explain. No worries.”

“Of course, I’m worried.” He’s so frustratingly cavalier, but then he always was. He never had the same passion that Brick does. Ironically, Brick does everything he can to hide his passion except when he’s on the football field. Everyone used to say Jimmy had twice the talent that Brick does and that’s why it was such a shame he never did anything with it.

But I understand why. Because Jimmy just plain didn’t care so much about football. It was everyone else, including his family who made a big deal of it. The pressure got to him, the pressure of keeping his secret making it so much worse because he was under a microscope down to his skivvies he used to say. I was his safe place. That was his excuse for supposedly dating me.

Now he grins at me as if nothing’s wrong and I think he truly believes that. Hell, maybe he’s right and I’m all over dramatic because the stakes are so high for me. At least that’s how I’ve built it up in my head, but shaking Brick from his self-imposed emotional prison has proven to be much harder than I imagined and there’s no promise that Jimmy can help. No guarantee that Brick has feelings for me or that he’ll ever admit to it if he does.