Page 49 of Notorious Man on Campus

“Does Jimmy know yet?” I wave it off, because the truth about Jimmy and me is complicated, but I’m not his girlfriend anymore and never really was. But I can’t tell Brick about it because Jimmy swore me to secrecy.

“Don’t worry about Jimmy. He’s in College and he’s a football star and has girls throwing themselves at him every day.” Which is true, and part of Jimmy’s problem.

“You think that makes this okay?” Brick’s face is back to his cold mask.

“You’re the Blanick who’s always intrigued me.” This is something I hadn’t planned to admit, but I’m tired of pretending. Tired of being with the wrong brother.

“Intrigued? Is that something like having a crush?” He gives me an interested look sending my heart into palpitations.

“A lot like that except it’s deeper, more intellectual, more…”

He snort-laughs and rolls his eyes. Embarrassment floods me and I lift my hand to slap his face, but he catches my wrist. The heat of his hand, his fingers wrapped around my thin wrist making me feel like a twig, zaps me between the thighs. Okay, so maybe he has a point. My response to him is off the charts carnal. Nothing intellectual going on here.

His blue-green eyes bore into me.

“You weren’t going to slap me, were you?”

“Yes, I was. But you’re fast. And mean.”

“I’m not mean. You’re off-limits. Forever. You’re my brother’s girl until he says otherwise and even then I’m not going to flirt with you, let alone sleep with you.”

“Then be my friend.” I don’t mean to sound desperate, but I am and there’s nothing to explain it except that I know he needs a friend, the kind he can talk to about his emotions, someone he can trust, someone who he can let see his vulnerable side. Because as much time as I’ve spent around the Blanick household, I’ve observed enough to know that Brick doesn’t let his father or brother see any weakness. No messy emotions allowed.

And no matter how strong or how much he has his shit together, no one is without chinks in their armor.

And then there’s the letter I found.

He needs someone. He needs me.

“I don’t do friends with girls.”

“If you’re going to treat me like I’m still your brother’s girlfriend then you have no choice. You have to be my friend.”

“I thought you said it was over between you and Jimmy?” He arches a brow. I roll my eyes.

“It is. I was pointing out the flaw in your thinking.”

“This has nothing to do with thinking. It’s just the way it is. Trust me.”

“Trust you? Not fucking likely.”

He snorts. I laugh. His eyes flare with anger and it seems I struck a nerve. I think back to the letter and wonder if trust is his problem. He was abandoned, but then disappointed when she didn’t come back or write. Maybe she’d promised.

“What do you know about trust?” He snarls. A definite nerve. I lick my lips and take a chance.

“I know you don’t trust women.” I soften my voice to a near whisper. “And I know why.”

We’re lying next to each other, face to face, his eyes are intense on mine. My breathing is heavy, my heart pounding hard.

“Why?” He rasps a flash of fear lighting his eyes, an expression I’ve never seen before. I have to tell him. He’ll either hate me forever or finally let his guard down.

“Because all your step-mothers abandoned you and never came back.” I pause a beat, watching the emotionless mask of his face for cracks. “After they-she promised she would--”

“Fuck you.” He vibrates with anger. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. I didn’t care about those women my dad married. None of them were my real mother and if you want to know the fucking truth, I barely remember my real mother.”

My heart breaks. It cracks wide and deep and without a thought because there’s nothing else I can possibly do, I lean in and wrap my arms around him, laying my head on his chest. Poor, poor boy. I want to console whatever piece of that little abandoned lonely boy is left in him because I know it’s there, a remnant buried deep inside that he’s desperately trying to keep under wraps, to ignore like it doesn’t matter, as if it didn’t happen, as if he doesn’t have any feelings for women left at all. Not even hate.

Except he just told me to fuck off, didn’t he? That’s something.