Page 44 of Rage’s Rose

Whip and Fang come up next to her and look at me.

“Watch how you talk to our ol’ lady.” Fang says.

“Fuck! Her water broke!” Parker yells.

“Alright everybody move it, we need to get her to the hospital.” Sophie says as she pushes her way to Rose.

Liza hands Jaxon over to my dad and runs towards Rose. I try to move again and am still surrounded by the fucking wall.

A half an hour later I am sitting in the waiting room with a big chunk of Devil’s Chaos, my head in my hand. Rose wouldn’t allow me in the room with her and now I know exactly how Dragon felt when he couldn’t go into Liza’s delivery for Jaxon. I hate every second of this. Dragon didn’t even sleep with anyone else while Liza and them were hooking up. I mean, yes, I never told Rose we were exclusive, but I knew she was special. I fought it and hooked up with other girls trying to make the feelings I was having go away. Yes, I was drunk, but the trying to fight what I was feeling led me to the excessive drinking and getting naked with a bunch of stupid bitches.I know no one understands why I have been like this and done these things and now sitting here outside of the waiting room I regret that I didn’t go about things the way I should have.

I really should have been honest and maybe I don’t know, maybe not fucked Rose without protection instead of just taking chances with her. She has Liza, Peyton and Parker in there and I don’t even know enough to ask her if she needs me to call any family. I don’t even know if she has any family. That’s how little I listened to her because I was fighting everything that was about us. So I used her and I know that she had feelings for me before she overheard what she did and then on top of that saw what she saw. I know that she didn’t see me fucking someone else, but she saw that bitch all over me and I did nothing to stop it. I wasn’t sure she saw all of that until the other day when Abby laid into me about it. I would never want to see her with anyone else. I would never want to hear her say anything negative about me, I mean I wouldn’t have before, now that is really all I hear when I actually hear her talk about me. I would never want to see her with another man’s hands on her. It would tear me up inside and that is with me fighting my feelings. I’m a possessive asshole and I would have gone fucking nuts.

“It’s gonna be okay, son.”

“Well, this will now be the second kid that I missed out on the births for. So I’m sorry you have ever felt this way.”

“Yeah, it’s not the greatest feeling in the world, but Caleb it’s going to be okay. I know you and I know that you are going to make this right. I know that your childhood wasn’t great before you came to me, but you need to get over your feelings of commitment. These feelings you have about how every woman just wants something from you. Some women just want to love you, son. Just because I was screwed over and had women before Liz that hid kids and it was hard does not mean that every woman you come across is going to do that to you. I never wanted the shit I had to deal with to rub off and ruin things for you. I mean look at this situation, sure you are not in there while she is giving birth, but you at least know that you are having a baby. She is not someone who is going to fuck you over because she is selfish. From what I have seen of her and what you’ve told me, she is pretty selfless. You knew she was pregnant even though you fucked her over, that says a lot about her. She could’ve been vindictive, but she wasn’t. Stop thinking that all women are the same. You have such a good relationship with all the ol’ ladies, I don’t understand why you continue to be so closed off when it comes to opening up your heart to someone.”

“There is a lot you don’t know about dad. Shit I never told you, hell shit I never even told the caseworker so she wouldn’t have known. But I’m trying to let go of that shit and work through it to be a better version of myself. But that shit left scars.”

“I know it did, but we have to figure out a way to move forward or you are going to be miserable for the rest of your life. Miserable and angry. Your road name might be Rage, but that does not mean that is how you have to live your life. I don’t want you to always be full of anger and rage. You need a safe space, whether that feels right to you or not.”

I nod my head and get quiet. I feel like I pray for the first time in my life ever that everything is going to be okay and workout. That Rose is going to be okay, that our baby is going to be okay and that everything with Mason is going to workout. I just need to figure out a way to make everything better.

For what feels like the entire day we sit in this waiting room and everyone comes and goes depending on if they had to get home to their families. Liza comes out and goes up to Dragon first and gives him a kiss. The man is so fucking whipped over her that he has the dorkest smile on his face when she pulls away. She sits on his lap and then turns to me.

“Parker and Peyton will be coming out. Um, from what Rose said you can go back when they come out, but a nurse will bring you to another room. Where you can meet the baby and have some time. For the first little bit her friend Abby will be in there, I think the other girls are in another waiting room and her family has been called. But that’s what’s happening right now.”

I stand up and now I’m fucking pissed, “What do you mean that I have to go to another room? Is she okay? Do I at least get to know that? Do I get to know that she is safe and everything went okay or do I have to sit and wonder if the mother of my fucking child is okay?”

“Rage, buddy, I’m gonna need you to calm down and not talk to my woman that way. It is Rose’s choice. Don’t sit here and yell at my woman for it.” Dragon says and glares at me.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and then turn and see my father. He is looking at me and shakes his head before we hear footsteps walking towards us and I see Peyton and Parker followed by a nurse.

“Go meet your baby.” my dad says.

So I try to calm down and follow the nurse to the room where I meet the newest member of my family and feel like a failure that I can’t seem to get my shit together.

Chapter Twenty One

Rose

I was exhausted. My body hurt and as happy as I am that my boy was here, I was sad that it was like this. Sure I had some of my girls in here with me as I delivered, but when I pictured myself giving birth to a baby I always thought I would have the man I loved holding my hand next to me. Not sitting in the waiting room because my prince charming turned out to be a frog. I have never had luck in relationships. In fact I feel like I just attract men that think they can use me for a good time or control me. I thought what I had found was different. I thought that because he led me on. He made me feel like we were on the same page when we weren’t and honestly I wish he would’ve just left me alone.

I had the girls arrange for him to go into another room to meet the baby because I didn’t think I could handle seeing him with our son. I didn’t think that I could handle seeing something that will never truly be mine. I mean how can I ever go back and trust this man who shattered me so completely. I mean at least when Travis broke me he did it with his hands and I always saw that coming. Rage, I never saw the hurtful things he said and did coming. It made it worse than the abuse I dealt with for years by my ex-boyfriend.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Abby says as she comes into the room.

I turn my head towards the door and look at her.

“I’m sore and tired. If I’m being honest, I am so happy my baby is here, but I’m sad. I’m sad about how it all came about and how this man shattered me.”

“Oh Rose.” She came over and crawled into the bed next to me pulling my head on her chest. “I knew you were just being a big brave bitch for everyone else’s benefit. You don’t have to be brave for everyone. What he did and what he said that night was horrible. You are right to put a bit of distance between you. But you do know he is going to make you talk to him right?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“He wanted to know the baby’s name, but you never told me so I couldn’t tell him.”