Page 50 of Under Fire in Big Sky

Pulling free from her grip, he folded his arms and tilted his head up to the night sky. “You know it was a car accident with a drunk driver. But it turns out she wasn’t alone in the car. She was with a buddy of mine. No reason for them to be together, at night, in his car, unless they were having an affair. She was the kind of person who didn’t like to be alone. Not for a few weeks and especially not for months while I was deployed.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” The news was surprising. “You’ve lost a lot. More than most. But that has nothing to do with us.”

He looked at her. “But it does. Can’t you see? I bring tragedy to everyone who gets close.”

Relationships weren’t her thing either. In her experience, there was a low return on investment. None worked out, and it wasn’t always the other person’s fault. Opening up, showing Eli her whole self, caring about him with her entire heart made her feel raw and exposed.

It was terrifying, but it didn’t stop her from trying to get closer to him.

“What about your team at IPS? You love them. You consider them family.” Though as she considered it, he even kept them at a distance. Never getting too close.

“It’s not the same, and you know it.” He stalked to their room.

The Do Not Disturb sign on the knob flapped in the breeze.

“But that’s just it, I don’t.”

He shoved a hand in his pocket and took out the key. “In five years, I haven’t walked away. I’m here now, backing you up, even though I think we should let this one go because I don’t want anything to happen to you.” He stared at her. “I’d die to protect you, Liv. Why isn’t that enough?”

Those weren’t small things. They were huge and meant the world to her.

But she also wanted someone who was willing to live for her, be in it with her every single day.

Tapping the key onto the electronic sensor, he unlocked the door. He twisted the handle and stepped inside.

She followed him. Taking his hand, she turned him to face her as the door shut behind her. “The only reason you proposed to me is because I’m pregnant. Because we made a mistake. Not out of love. It’s not enough because I want more.”

Eli leaned in and cradled her cheek in his palm. “This baby was a choice we both made. Not a mistake. I could’ve gotten a vasectomy and didn’t. We could’ve waited twenty minutes for me to run to the store to buy more protection. But we chose not to. Three times.”

She could’ve gotten her IUD replaced, but she started thinking about having her eggs retrieved and stored if she was ever ready and the circumstances were right.

“You thought about getting the big snip?” She rocked backward until her spine pressed to the door.

“Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you?”

They stood close. So close, the air went thick, and her pulse raced as she felt his body heat. The man was nothing as simple as handsome. It was the way he was built. The dark hair. Honest eyes. Wide mouth framed by blunt, striking bone structure. She put her hand on his chest, felt the honed muscles and tight sinew beneath the cotton of his shirt. All of it paled in comparison to what was on the inside. His big heart and boundless spirit were the sexiest things about him.

Keeping a palm on her cheek, he propped his other arm above her head on the door. That warm, secure bubble, where they were the only two people in the world and nothing else existed, bloomed. His gaze dropped to her mouth, setting off butterflies in her chest, and she wet her lips.

Eli shrugged. “Because of you.”

“What does that mean?”

“Means you’re my kryptonite.”

She frowned, not wanting to get sidetracked in a conversation about how kryptonite could kill Superman. It was the worst comparison.

“I know you care about me, E. But I don’t want to stay stuck in limbo with you, and I don’t want to get married simply because I’m pregnant. I’d rather move on from you. Find a way to co-parent. As just friends.” Best friends.

“No.” Clenching his jaw, he squeezed his eyes shut. “No.”

“No? Do you have anything to add to that?” She dropped her hand from his chest. “What do you feel for me?” Vulnerability was naked in her voice, though she tried to hide it.

She hated asking. Never imagined she would be that woman. She was independent, successful, had a supportive family and great friends. Truth be told, she did not need any man, but she wanted this one.

He looked at her and something in his eyes changed, heating and softening, making her thighs tingle. “You and I will never be just friends. We’ll never be just anything. When you walk into a room, everything else blurs and you’re the only person I see. The only one I want to talk to or touch,” he said, and her heart squeezed. “Your gaze finds mine every time and then without even thinking about it, I’m stepping toward you, drawn to you. Like—”