Page 19 of Under Fire in Big Sky

“I’m sorry it took me so long to find you.” He was still kicking himself for not staying with her in the hotel.

“But you did and I’m okay.” Her voice softened. “Can we talk?”

His heart sank. “You’re not all right. Whatever is wrong, you can tell me.”

“The doctors think I’m going to be fine. Okay?”

He nodded.

Olivia hesitated. “I want to talk about us.”

No matter what she had to say, he was ready to listen. She had almost died, nearly missed the chance to tell whatever had been on her mind.

He braced himself. “Yeah, sure.” Maybe it was for the best they were separated by glass. If he could touch her, he might not be able to let her go.

“This thing between us has been going on for a long time.”

It was hard to pinpoint exactly when it’d started. Perhaps after the first briefing she’d given to his team, and they had spoken alone. Had a charged conversation that bordered on flirty, a current lacing the words that buzzed beneath his skin, threatening to disrupt his composure. Maybe it was when he returned from a deployment in a danger zone, and they’d shared a titillating look. Or after they kissed. Or once they broke the rules irrevocably and slept together.

Their hot-and-heavy fling, which violated all the rules, lasted six months. Until her ETS—end of time in service. She was recruited by Aegis and moved back home to Colorado. They stayed in contact. Each time they met, picking up where they left off.

“But it’s not sustainable,” she said. “It’s not a real relationship. I need a partner who wants to build a life with me. I need more.”

“If you’ve met someone, it’s okay. No matter what, we’re friends. That’ll never change.” But it’d change everything else between them. Everything else for him. “I’ve always said it was fine if you ever needed something permanent with a guy who could give it to you.”

She dropped her hand from the glass.

He did the same.

“And you’d really be fine with it?” she asked, softly, not looking at him. “Me moving on with someone else?”

Heck no, but he’d have no other choice. Liv was like the sun, brightening his world. Warming far more than his bed but also a part of him that only lit up when she was around. With her, he remembered he was still alive.

No one wanted to lose the sun. Or stop it from shining.

His darkness would inevitably snuff out her light. Everywhere he went, he brought tragedy. He was grateful she’d survived him this long.

Tonight, he nearly lost her. No way was he going to continue pushing their luck.

“I won’t stand in the way of your happiness. I can do what’s necessary,” he said. “Give you this, anything you need.” Anything to protect her. Even if it meant protecting her from him.

“If only that were true.”

But it was. “No strings. That’s true,” he said, and her gaze flickered to his. His heart shattered at the look of utter disbelief on her face. “You were always free to do what you wanted with whomever. Any guy would be lucky to have you as a partner. I always knew this day was coming. Now that it’s here, I won’t complain about it.” A sadness akin to grief welled up in him. “That was the deal.”

He snapped his mouth shut, his teeth grinding together, smothering the words roiling in him. Smothering the plea that wanted to slip out. It’s sustainable. The weeks apart. The fleeting dots of a relationship connected with phone calls and texts. He clenched his jaw, swallowing the lie.

She deserved more. Deserved someone who could give it to her.

And she certainly didn’t need to get any closer to him. If anything, she needed to get as far from him as possible.

Olivia lowered her head. “Duly noted,” she said, as though this was a business meeting and not the end of life as he knew it. “There is something else I need to tell you. The reason the specialist wanted me to be in this contraption.”

Stiffening, he gripped the phone tighter in his hand. “Are you sick?”

“I’m pregnant.”

The words hit him like a sucker punch to the chest.