Page 47 of Until the End

She beamed, her cheeks flushing, and it warmed something inside him.

“That was the best compliment anyone has ever given me. I’m with you because you make me feel like the most beautiful and intelligent woman in the room. Not just desired but…valued.”

Doc was priceless. Why didn’t she see that about herself? “You make it easy.”

“I think it’s a reflection of the kind of man you are. When we’re together, you don’t notice the way other women look at you. Your eye never wanders. In the past,” she said, her entrancing gaze lowering for a second before returning to his, “I’ve picked the wrong men. Guys who left scars on the inside and out. Guys who cheated. Guys who made me question my self-worth. Even my own judgment. Guys whose love pressed on my heart like a bruise.”

He hated that she’d settled for unworthy men. She was blind to her own greatness. The right man would go to war for her, make any sacrifice to be with her.

“Emily…” He kissed the back of her hand. “Those jerks were small-minded and cruel and didn’t know how to love. I’d never—”

“I know you would never hurt me.” She pressed her palm to his cheek. “You’re one of the good ones. Like some mythical creature out of a fairy tale. You’re a much-needed upgrade in the men department.” She threw him another megawatt smile.

Unpacking his sense of responsibility and leaving the mountain of baggage at the office was impossible, but making her happy was the best distraction.

“Those other men, what are their names?”

“Why? Would you send one of your operatives to eliminate them?”

“No. No, of course not.” That’d cross the professional line. “I’d do it myself.”

She laughed, but he wasn’t joking. The thought of someone hurting her made him sick.

“Can I ask you something?” she said.

Ask me no questions, I’ll tell you no lies. A phrase his alcoholic gambler of a father had often used. For some reason, it popped into his head now. “Anything. Fire away.”

“Why do you only wear bow ties, never neckties?”

“Shortly after I met my”—he caught himself and swallowed the word wife—“ex-wife, I had dinner with Penny and her parents at this upscale restaurant.”

Doc was sensitive to the fact he’d committed himself completely to someone else for more than twenty years but now had difficulty reinvesting in another relationship. If only he could make her understand, he was the one broken and she was the glue putting the pieces of his heart back together again.

“I was totally out of my element,” he continued, “this kid from Yonkers who had taken to the military like a fish to water. My necktie fell into my soup. Her parents turned their noses up at me and I’m sure you can imagine how mortified I was. I confessed to Penny I never wanted to feel that humiliation again. She suggested a bow tie. I’ve been wearing them ever since.”

He held out both arms in a ta-da gesture like the Wizard of Oz after pulling back the curtain.

“Penny,” Doc said tightly and sipped her chardonnay. “Of course.” A hollow grin. “Why did you two get divorced?”

“For years, she put my needs ahead of her own because with this job, a partner has to yield. She thought I put more into my work than our marriage.” With his obsessive focus, juggling multiple things at once, his compulsion to solve any issue before it became a problem…perhaps he had. “Eventually, she had enough and demanded I retire. I didn’t.”

He hadn’t chosen the job over Penny. A friend—the type so despicable you don’t need enemies—had put him in an untenable position. Sanborn chose to stay in this ugly business to protect his people. A heartbreaking decision that he couldn’t regret.

“If it’s for a good cause,” Doc said, “and your job most certainly is, I don’t mind yielding.”

But for how long? No lover wanted to play second fiddle forever.

He smiled but didn’t respond.

“For the record, the bow tie was a fantastic recommendation. They’re incredibly hard to pull off, but you do it so well.” Doc never succumbed to pettiness.

Another thing he adored about her.

With the speed bumps averted, Sanborn cut into his filet mignon and took a bite.

“But I think I prefer you wearing nothing at all.” She flashed him a flirty look. “How about tonight we go to your place?”

Every molecule of his being tensed and he nearly choked on his steak. He never brought anyone to his condo. Going to Doc’s meant leaving when he was ready, not worrying about her sorting through his stuff, no need to juggle anything or stay on guard.