Page 97 of The Moment He Couldn’t Walk Away

Chapter 26

They’d carried all of her things into the cottage when they’d returned. The scent of smoke lingered, but after a ride on the back of his pickup, it wasn’t too strong.

“You moving in, Nina?” Lynx joked as he staggered inside with a suitcase full of her clothes.

“No way could I live with you two,” she said, staring at the pile Finch was standing beside in the middle of the living area. “But I am grateful to you both for stepping in to look out for me and letting me stay here.”

“Why can’t you live with us? We’re house-trained,” Finch protested.

“I have never lived with anyone but my mother, and she had the same habits as me.”

Finch took in the dark smudges under Nina’s eyes and the tension in her that had her shoulders raised. She was coiled tight, like a spring wound one turn too many. There was only so much a person could take, and Finch was sure she was reaching her breaking point, especially after seeing the damage to her home.

He’d watched her stand in the wreckage, dry-eyed and steady, which was the way she wanted people to see her coping. It was only now that the cracks were starting to appear, if you knew where to look. Finch did know, having been through a whole heap of trauma himself, he’d perfected the art of hiding his emotions.

“I’m heading into town to pick up some food. Message me anything you need,” Lynx said, grabbing his keys and jacket.

The front door closed minutes later, leaving them alone.

“Nina—”

“I’m going to shower off some of this smoky stench.” She didn’t exactly run after those words, but it was close.

Finch let her go and carried her suitcase into his room, setting it down at the foot of the bed. Then he stood for a moment in the doorway, listening to the pipes groan as the water came on down the hall. He thought about all the things he wanted to say to her, but wasn’t sure how.

He headed for the bathroom. There were no locks on the doors in a McAllister house, which right then he had to say he was glad about.

The shower was running, but she wasn’t in it—she was standing just outside the spray, naked, arms wrapped around herself, staring at the tile floor like it might tell her what to do next. All that beautiful flesh was covered in goose bumps that she seemed oblivious to, steam curling up around her and coming nowhere close to warming her.

“Hey.” Finch moved in behind her and wrapped his arms around her body, pulling her back against him. Running his hands up and down her arms, he tried to chase the chill out of her skin. “You’re freezing. Water’s right there.”

“I know.” She didn’t move toward it. “I’ll get in soon.”

“Okay.” He didn’t push her, and just held on, his chin resting against the crown of her head.

“I always have a plan,” she said finally, her voice cracking on the last word. “I always know what to do, Finch. There isn’t a single thing in my life I haven’t had a contingency for. But I don’t have one for this. I don’t know what to do, and it’s not my fault. None of this is, but I still can’t fix it.”

He felt something in his chest twist at the rawness in her voice. Nina, who never let anyone see her rattled, finally cracking open in his arms.

“That’s how I felt after the accident,” he said quietly. “In fact, it’s how I’ve felt ever since. Like you’re standing on the sidelines of your own life, watching everyone else move through it while you’re stuck. But in my case, it was my fault.”

“No.” She turned in his arms to look up at him. “I heard it wasn’t your fault. A deer ran out in front of your vehicle.”

“Maybe, but I should have been concentrating on the job at hand.” Finch stroked the hair back from one cheek, his thumb lingering against her jaw.

“What are we doing, Finch. We’re both broken. Are we just looking for a distraction?”

He studied her face for long seconds working through what he needed to say. He had to be honest with her now.

“You’ve been on my mind for a long time, Nina. Longer than I’ve wanted to admit. I just kept telling myself it wasn’t the right time and couldn’t go anywhere, and that if it went wrong, we would see each other constantly when I came home on leave.”

He’d shocked her silent. Her mouth opened, then closed again twice.

“Yes, we’re broken, but I can feel myself healing inside, and I know you’re part of that.”

“But our lives are a mess, Finch.”

“I know, and I’m not sure what I’m trying to say but I need to explain how I feel.” He brushed his knuckles along her cheek. “Watching you almost lose everything tonight made me realize how stupid it is to keep sitting on things that matter. Maybe because standing here with you, after everything, is the most certain I’ve felt about anything since the accident. For once, I don’t care about my problems because yours are more important. Your safety is more important.”