Page 72 of Deviant Need

Alexei shakes out his fists. “Talk or I let this freak skin you alive.” He gestures to Calder who lights up with a manic smile, walks around the guy, and crouches to look up at him, then over at me.

“Let’s feed him his own eyeballs.” He rubs his thumb over his lips. “Fuck, I’m getting hard thinking about it.”

Alexei grins and looks my way. “On bol’noy na golovu.” He’s sick in the head.

I stare at Calder for a beat. “Dude, if that’s what gets you hard, you might need to see a shrink.”

Calder rolls his eyes. “Been told that before.”

The guy’s sobbing turns to screaming. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know. Please stop, you’re all crazy.”

“Why am I crazy?” I interrupt, raising my brows. “I didn’t say I was getting hard from feeding you your own eyeballs.” I glance down at Calder and gesture with my chin. “That’s all him.”

Calder stands up and wipes his tattooed hands over his jaw. “It’s not about the gore. It’s about the act of it. Watching an art piece unfold in front of you. Human reaction in real time. Honest and ugly. You can’t fake that.”

I blink at him. “Did you accidentally take LSD again?”

He stares at me, expressionless. “There’s no accident. I just take it pure.”

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I start laughing.

The guy’s screaming again, trying to get someone to save him like anyone’s coming.

Hopping off the table, I crack my neck side to side and shake out my hands to loosen them up. “Alright, why not. Let’s fuck him up and get all the information we need. Show me how you do the eye removal without killing him. We should drag it out, and then I want to be the one who ends it.”

Calder shrugs. “Want to come with me to the party afterward?”

What party? I mean no. But going home is worse.

“Sure, whose party?”

“It’s Lev’s thirty-third birthday. Did you forget about your own brother?”

The guy starts screaming and thrashing against the restraints. I lean down and punch him in the face, hard enough to snap his head back and shut him up.

“Let’s just get this over with. Then take me to that party. Gives me an excuse to take a break from the club bullshit.”

Calder grins wide. “Perfect. This’ll be fun.”

Hopping back up onto the desk, I take my grinder and start prepping a joint. Calder and Alexei grab the guy and tilt the chair backward until it hits the floor with a thud. He wiggles and kicks, trying to break free, but they’ve got him pinned down tight. I finish rolling, seal it with my tongue, and light up. The smoke fills my lungs, and I exhale slowly, watching him struggle.

Alexei pauses, looking down at the guy. “So how do we get his eyeballs out without killing him?”

Calder tilts his head, considering. “Melon baller. Scoop behind the eye, twist, pop it out. Keep the optic nerve intact as long as possible so he feels it longer.”

Alexei’s quiet for a second, then mutters, “You’re a genius.”

They start, and the screaming starts immediately, high-pitched and desperate. I watch Calder pull out his tools, Alexei holding the guy down with his boot pressed into his chest.

My head tips back as the cocaine drips down the back of my throat, bitter and chemical, then I rub the leftovers into my gums with my fingers until they go numb.

“Don’t Let Me Go” by Lane 8 and Arctic Lake blasts through the door, bass thumping hard enough to rattle the walls and vibrate through the floor. I’m hiding in the bathroom like a fucking coward, trying to escape from everyone.

Shaking my head, I grip the black marble bathroom counter to steady myself, my reflection staring back at me. The lack of color in here makes me think of Daniil. He loves colors, always gravitates toward the brightest things in any room.

Shut up, brain. I need to stop thinking about him. For real this time.

I’ve been here for thirty minutes, and I already want to leave, crawl back home, and lock myself in my room.