Page 28 of Deviant Need

“We’re going to go home because it’s opening day at my new clinic tomorrow,” Kelly says, stepping back toward the door.

He recently opened a veterinarian clinic because, apparently, all his bosses keep dying.

The first was Gary. The second and third bosses vanished without explanation, and by that point, Kelly stopped asking if Alexei was involved and just told him he was done working for other people before someone else ended up dead.

Alexei’s solution was to throw money at the problem and buy Kelly his own practice. Problem solved. The clinic opens tomorrow, and Kelly’s been stressing about every detail while Alexei hovers around being protective.

Dropping down onto the mat, I sip my protein-less smoothie, staring at nothing.

I’ve never thought about Daniil wanting anyone that way. It’s just weird. Wrong, almost. He’s mine. He’s always been mine, and the idea of him with someone else makes my brain short-circuit trying to process it.

I guess he could want someone, theoretically. Most people our age are dating or hooking up or doing whatever normal people do, but I’ve never seen him with anyone. Never seen him look at anyone the way other people look at people they’re interested in. He doesn’t go out to clubs or bars without me and doesn’t talk about being attracted to anyone.

I think he’s a virgin. Honestly, I don’t know for sure. He might have done it when I didn’t know, but I doubt it.

We’re together constantly, and he tells me everything, or at least I thought he did. Maybe he’s been keeping things from me. Maybe that’s why he’s acting weird now.

The idea of some random person touching him, kissing him, fucking him makes me want to stab something. Or someone. Preferably whoever thinks they have the right to get near him like that.

Taking another sip of the smoothie, I grimace. It tastes awful without the protein powder. My stomach twists, and I put the smoothie down, suddenly not interested in drinking it anymore.

I drag my hand down my face and snatch my phone off the mat. Still no new messages. I type something out, stare at it, delete it, then type it again.

Me:

I miss you

My thumb hovers over the send button. That feels too vulnerable, too honest. Too much like admitting that I need him more than he needs me, which might be true, but I don’t want to say it out loud.

Deleting it, I toss my phone aside, then fall back onto the mat. I stare at the ceiling while my thoughts spiral.

I don’t want him with anyone else or to share him with some random person who thinks they deserve his time and attention and space when that’s supposed to be mine. That’s fucked up, probably. But I don’t care.

The door to the apartment opens, and I jump up from the couch. Okay, so I might have been waiting here like a complete psycho for him to come home. In my defense, this is the only way I can corner him and demand answers because fuck this. I’m over it. I cross the space and meet him in the hallway before he can escape to his room. He gives me a tired look and bends down to kick off his shoes.

“Where were you?”

He clears his throat, not meeting my eyes. “At the port. Lev needed help with the shipment plans and tracking something that went missing.”

“Can we talk?”

“I’m really tired, Mik. I was thinking I’d just go take a nap.”

He tries to sidestep me, but I grab his wrist to stop him. His skin is warm under my fingers, and he tenses immediately.

“Please, Danya. I can’t fucking take this anymore.”

“I’m not mad at you, okay? I just need some space.” He’s still not looking at me, staring at the wall over my shoulder instead.

“That makes no sense.” I tighten my grip on his wrist to keep him from pulling away. “If you aren’t mad, then why do you need space?”

He tries to pull his wrist free, but I don’t let go.

“Is it because you want a girlfriend or something?”

His eyebrows pull together in confusion, but he still won’t look at me directly.

Maybe he’s already found someone, and that’s what Alexei and Kelly were getting at earlier. Maybe he was with someone, and he’s keeping it from me because he knows I’ll lose it.