Page 76 of Hard to Get

I’m at my sister Alanna’s place. I haven’t seen the kids for a while so I invited myself over for dinner.

“If you could grow any kind of food on trees, what would it be?” I ask Hugo and Layla from the armchair where I’ve collapsed, belly full of chicken tacos.

“Pizza!” Layla says immediately.

“I don’t know.” Hugo scrunches up his face. “Oh! I know. Frogs!” He falls on the floor, giggling.

“Frogs! Do you eat frogs?” I ask.

“Noooo. Yuck. Okay, chicken nuggets!”

“What kind of sauce?”

“I like ketchup.”

“Huh. Okay.” I look at Layla. “What kind of pizza?”

“Could it have… every kind?”

“Sure. An everything pizza tree. Why not.”

“What would you want, Uncle Jay?”

“Hmmm. I think a beer tree would be good.”

“Beer!” Layla shakes her head. “That’s not a food.”

“You are correct. Okay, I’ll say… chips.”

“What kind?”

“All kinds. An everything chip tree.”

“I hear you’ve been seeing someone,” my sister says to me.

I lift my head to peer at her. “How’d you hear that?”

“I saw it on a hockey blog.”

My jaw sags. “No.” I never look at that shit. Does Stella know that? This can’t be good.

“Yes. She’s pretty.”

“Did it say who she is?”

“Yes.”

“Well, damn.” I push myself up straight.

“Is it secret?”

“Well. No. Not exactly. It’s just… new, I guess.”

“She’s pretty impressive.”

“Tell me about it.” I drop my head back. She’s amazing. I might be falling for her, even though I’m not supposed to. But I am so not worthy of her. I can’t believe she even went out with me. “I have no idea why she’s seeing me.”

“Oh come on. You’re pretty impressive, too.”