Page 129 of Hard to Get

“Seriously falling for you.”

“Right.” She pulls in a breath. “And I’m so sorry I tried to suggest we could keep seeing each other even though I was rejecting you. That was stupid and selfish.” She meets my eyes, hers full of anguish.

I nod. “It was confusing.”

“I was trying so hard not to fall for you.”

The organ in my chest crawls up into my throat. “Why?”

“I think you know why. I kept telling myself that I didn’t want a relationship. That I don’t need a man.”

“You don’t need a man.”

“I know.”

“You’re an amazing woman. Brilliant, successful, busy doing interesting things and living your best life. You don’t need me. Or any other man.”

“I do need you,” she whispers. “But not like, need, need. I want you in my life because… I’m falling for you, too.” She pauses. “Seriously.”

I gaze back at her, the air all leaving my lungs in a rush.

“But I’m afraid I messed it up.” Her throat works as she swallows. “Because really… I was afraid. I was so afraid.”

“Afraid of me?”

“Yes.”

I frown and open my mouth.

“Not like you think. I’m… I’m afraid of becoming like my mom.”

I fill my lungs with air and let it out slowly. Yeah. She said that, that night. She was becoming her mother with fucknuts Colin or whatever his name is.

“I’ve told myself I don’t need a man to feel fulfilled. I don’t need a relationship. And now I wonder if I was deluding myself into thinking I don’t want a relationship because I was avoiding the risks that come with one. Am I really that happy being single, or am I just settling for myself?”

I tilt my head to one side. “What does that mean?”

“Like, people settle in relationships. They might not be fully happy or getting what they need but they stay in the relationship because it’s better than being alone. Like my mom. So maybe because I was afraid of taking a risk, I’ve been settling for myself.”

I push out my lips. “Huh.”

“I wasn’t looking for anything. But then I met you. You scared me from the start. Well, almost the start. At first, I thought you were perfect for a little fun. But then I got to know you and I knew you were someone I could fall in love with.” She meets my eyes. “And that terrified me.”

I try to breathe around the emotion swelling in my chest.

“There are risks to falling in love, right?”

I take in her quivering bottom lip and shadowy eyes. I want to reassure her that she’s safe with me, that I would never hurt her. But realistically, we could hurt each other. And I don’t want to downplay her fears. “Yeah. There are. But for me… with you… it’s worth it.”

“For me, too,” she whispers. “I was afraid that if I fall in love… if I love someone completely… I’ll end up hurt. Like my mom did. Over and over.”

I nod.

“But you… you make the risks worth it.”

That pressure ballooning in my chest intensifies.

“I want to be brave,” she says. “So I’m telling you all this even though I’m afraid it might be too late for us.”