Page 121 of Hard to Get

I narrow my eyes at her. “Was that sarcastic?”

“Oh yeah.”

I slump. “You’re right, he did not take that well. He left.”

Silence drops over us. Then Betty gives a little whine from under the table, hoping for a piece of capicola to fall into her mouth.

Lauren plucks a piece off her pizza.

“Don’t give it to her!” I hold my hands up.

“Sorry.” She drops the meat back on her plate.

“It’ll just make her whine more,” I explain.

“But she’s hungry.”

“I’ll feed her dinner in a few minutes. Oh fuck. Give her the capicola.”

Lauren smiles and feeds Betty what she wants.

I refill my wine glass. “So he left, I haven’t heard from him, my stomach hurts, and I don’t know what to do.”

“Maybe he dumped you,” Alexis says gently.

My lower lip shoots out as I gaze at her. Is that what happened? “But… I…”

Gracie tips her head. “What?”

“I don’t want to break up.” I slump in my chair. “I just don’t want to get serious.”

“That’s not fair to him,” Alexis says.

“I know. In my brother’s words, I’m dicking him around.”

“All those green flags,” Lauren says sadly.

“Yeah,” I agree. “And there are even more now.” He has his own life and he doesn’t get weird when my schedule stops me from seeing him. He respects those boundaries. He listens to me and supports me. He’s mature and kind, comfortable with vulnerability, and I felt safe enough with him to tell him my most private stories and feelings. He gave me an orgasm to help my cramps.

“He can’t be perfect,” Alexis says.

“No. He’s definitely not perfect. He eats peanut butter out of the jar—with a fork.”

“Ohhh.”

“Also, he falls asleep really fast. It’s so annoying when I can’t shut off my brain and fall asleep.”

“Mmmm.”

“And he’s a terrible patient.” I push my plate aside, fold my arms on the table, and lay my head on them.

“Oh, Stell.” Gracie sets her hand on my back and rubs.

I feel weighed down by the heaviness in my chest, my arms, and my legs. Like I can’t move and my insides are filled with ice. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“For a smart woman, you’re being really obtuse.”

I frown without lifting my head. “What does that mean?”