Page 312 of Breathe Like Hell

It tied me to Mason, too. It bound all of us together.

And it was such a simple, thoughtless thing. Holding me for a minute at the post office, just to help my struggling mother, because he was a good person deep down—even if he didn’t think so. That was all it took, the stars above aligning perfectly for that one brief moment, setting all three of us on our separate paths, the trails destined to converge in the distant future.

Micah took my chin, tilted my head back, pressed his lips to mine.

I’d been wrong. There did exist another person who understood how it felt to drown with Mason Ashborn, and he was kissing me now.

“I love you,” he mumbled against my lips.

“I love you more,” I whispered back.

“Impossible.”

His frosted words were still in my brain, the ones breathed out into a vast forest. Words he meant entirely. I love you more than my own life.

I wasn’t sure I deserved that. It was hard to think about another person loving me so much, but Micah reassured me every time I worried. He made sure I knew I was worth everything to him. Worth spending time on, worth caring for, worth saving. And I showed him he was worth waiting for.

“Do you want to sit?” he asked.

“I don’t want to get my jeans wet.” I gestured to the rock, water still soaking its surface, splashing up over its ridges and divots periodically when the waves crashed.

“You can sit on my lap.” Micah didn’t wait for me to agree before he sat down and put me on his lap, still hugging me, holding me safe and always. I breathed deep, all the way to the bottom of my lungs, and held the air there for a moment before exhaling. The tightness in my chest unwound more on every breath, the darkness in my thoughts sweeping away with the wind.

Bad mornings didn’t need to become bad days. Bad nights. Bad weeks or months. It was just a bad morning.

I wasn’t blind to the fact that I needed real therapy. Micah had talked to me about it before—said he’d pay for whatever would help me. But I didn’t feel ready yet.

Soon.

Maybe Mason and Micah could go to therapy too.

Sometimes immortality felt like a noose, but with them, it was freedom. We had time. Time to learn how to deal with all of this bullshit. Time to learn how to love each other the right way.

I relaxed further into Micah’s body, allowing the lullaby of the ocean to soothe me. Riptide-hypnosis. Mason, but shallower.

“Why did you used to ignore me during lab?” I questioned, my thoughts wandering back to last year, when Micah was still Dr. Killshaw and everything was forming between us for the first time, all his branches growing into my space.

“I was getting a baseline for you. Your self confidence and ability to think on your own.”

“I think you were just playing with your food.” I smiled slightly, my fingers pressed to the warm skin of his torso, tracing invisible patterns of black veins that’d long-since faded.

“Maybe a bit of that, too. I’m not perfect.” He tilted his head down, brushing a few stray hairs off my face, a grin pulling at his mouth. “Will you ever forgive me?”

“I already forgave you. Long time ago.” I waved my hand vaguely. “I actually did like my mean, cold, and sexy Unit Ops professor. Even when he was being a dick.”

“That’s…good. I guess. It’s good because it’s me.”

We sat together on the rock for a while, not speaking much, but taking it all in. I no longer fantasized about running away, getting as far away from this place as possible. Even though I had my wings, given to me by the man with his arms around my waist, I didn’t want to leave. Mason’s soul was anchored here, Micah’s soul was anchored here, and my soul would always yearn for this, too. Pine trees, a gloomy sky, a tumbling ocean. Raindrops on glass, lightning streaking wildly through clouds, thunder sinking into my bones.

I couldn’t imagine myself anywhere else. Angel wings looked prettiest under Washington skies.

Eventually, we left my dreaming rock, making our way back up to Micah’s truck with no real hurry. He’d texted Mason a few more times, which made me think he wouldn’t be done working as soon as I’d previously hoped. I peered sneakily at Micah’s phone, catching glimpses of things that made my heart flutter and squeeze and tremble with love. Exchanged messages of Miss you or Love you or Hopefully I’ll see both of you soon.

I laid down on the bench seat again as we drove, my head in Micah’s lap and his fingers sifting idly through my wind-tangled hair. It didn’t take us long to get back to his house and also didn’t take long for me to be undressed, bound, and bent over his desk, rope pulling on the delicate bones of my wrists.

Euphoria washed over me as leather smacked down hard on the backs of my thighs, goosebumps scattering all over my bare skin.

Leather kisses, forehead kisses, heart kisses.