Page 265 of Breathe Like Hell

“Wait here.”

She transferred my weight to the trunk of a tree, then left in the direction of Mason. I noticed I wasn’t wearing anything, and yes, my entire body was covered with the black veins. Obvious lines of onyx tracing patterns below my skin, still smoldering.

I couldn’t keep myself upright, even with the tree, so I sank to my knees on the ground. More rain pattered down around me, hitting pine branches and dripping onto my shoulders, rolling down my skin.

Everything hurt.

It hurt and hurt and hurt.

I wasn’t supposed to be here now.

My memories slowly appeared back in my brain, a slideshow of moments. Fighting with Dakota in my truck. Pulling over and letting her get out. Watching her walk away. Watching her get hit by the truck. Pressing my mouth to hers and exhaling. Mason’s arms wrapping around her body while she coughed and gasped. Weakness pulling me beneath the waves. The flick of my thumb on the lighter before the world went dark.

Relief.

I hadn’t been afraid.

As I sealed my mouth over hers and tears welled in my eyes, her blood covering my hands, so warm and human, I felt relief.

Because it was finally over.

And it’d meant something.

My life had meaning, had purpose. For that one fleeting moment, I had everything I’d ever wanted.

In my hands, they were both safe. I could save her. I could protect him. I could keep them both alive. All the weight on my shoulders had finally lifted.

And now…

Now, I was weaker than I’d ever been.

Crouched on the ground, gritting my teeth, heart slamming so hard on my ribs that I thought it would burst, black veins mapping the entirety of my skin. I should’ve been able to sense Dakota as a Sigeian, but I couldn’t. Both her mind and Mason’s mind were elusive to me. I couldn’t reach them.

There weren’t any memories from the moment I died until now. There wasn’t anything.

Just a void.

I’d completely ceased to exist. There was no afterlife for angels.

Dakota was back, standing in front of me, Mason beside her. I looked up at them both, but Mason wouldn’t meet my stare. His eyes were red, faintly glistening.

“We can take you home and it will all be okay,” Dakota said, her voice still wobbling a little bit.

“How long has it been? Or⁠—”

“Nine months. It’s September now.”

I swallowed, my throat dry and aching, tears welling up in my eyes.

“Nine months? I was gone for nine months?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

There was only one thing I could think about. One terrible thought that stood out among the rest as something so important…something I might’ve missed…

“Did you graduate?” I asked, my voice barely audible.

Dakota was quiet, so I looked up again. Her face was all twisted up like she was trying really hard not to sob, her teeth digging into her lower lip to keep all her sadness inside, big tears rolling down her cheeks.