Page 204 of Breathe Like Hell

The control, the distance, all the things I needed to survive, had pushed her so far away from me that I could no longer touch her at all. It felt just as terrible as vulnerability did, and I understood now that I’d picked the wrong wound to position her blade over.

A twig snapped somewhere in the forest, and I turned over my shoulder.

The wind was strong, but not so strong that I couldn’t smell her.

My nerves tightened.

Dakota appeared at the edge of the clearing a few moments later, her eyes wide when she caught sight of me. She probably hadn’t expected me to actually be here. Her lips parted, mouth slightly open, her body frozen.

Then, before I could say a word, she turned and ran.

She bolted into the trees.

Like a deer darting away towards safety, slipping between pine trees, her boots heavy on the forest floor. I took off after her, the trees blurring past as we ran together through perhaps the most significant place on Earth to me. The first place I’d ever touched it.

Branches whipped past my face, sharp needles and rain tipped pine cones.

She was fast, but not faster than me.

I crashed into her, wrapping my arms around her body to protect her as we fell to the ground. She flipped over, laying on her back with me over her, and that was when I noticed she was crying. Her face was wet with tears, and she was shivering all over.

“Masters—”

“You left me!” she cried, cutting me off. “I fucking needed you, Micah!”

“I know,” I panted, pain lighting in every vein. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

“Why would you do that to me?” Her voice mixed with a small sob, her hands shaking as she held them up to protect her chest. “You hurt me so badly. You knew I wanted you.”

“I’m sorry.”

My teeth clenched together tightly, agony clawing at my throat.

You knew I wanted you.

“I wish I could go back in time and do things differently. If I could, I would,” I added desperately, my eyes searching her teary ones. “Are you in physical pain?” I asked, unable to stop my worrying.

“No,” she answered shortly. “I stopped bleeding and I feel fine.”

“Okay,” I whispered, hanging my head. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Sometimes it feels like all I do is bend over backwards to try and make you comfortable. I’m trying. I’m fucking trying not to push you or scare you or whatever it is that my care does to you. But I can’t live like this.”

She was right.

There was no way around that truth.

If I’d been more honest with her at the beginning, she would’ve known this was coming. My desire had always been to shape her in my hands, to break her and reform her into a shape I could hold and keep safe in my palm. But she wasn’t an object that I got to bend to my will.

I took all the control I’d been deprived with Mason and applied it to her tenfold.

I’d never been able to own all of him, and it scared me. So, I took that fear and crushed Dakota into something small, trying to own her in a way so complete she could barely think on her own.

But that wasn’t the version of Dakota I actually wanted in my heart.

My corrupted brain had convinced me I needed this, but it wasn’t true. I loved her how she was.

I loved how she wore her heart on her sleeve, loved how she showed all her emotions in her eyes when she looked at me, loved how she saw the world.