Page 145 of Breathe Like Hell

“Micah’s still at his house. I’m just taking you with me.”

“No.” She shook her head a few times, still attempting to wriggle her way free of my grasp. “No. Take me back. What happened?”

“Nothing happened. I just want you to sleep with me in my bed.”

“Let me go back to my side of the car.” Dakota bumped the steering wheel with her hip and the car jerked to the side before I quickly corrected it.

“Stop moving,” I said, increasing our speed a bit. Her body tensed with the rumble of the engine getting louder.

“I’m not safe sitting on your lap,” she said through gritted teeth. “Let me go.”

“Dakota,” I warned under my breath, grip flexing on the steering wheel.

“Mason,” she snapped.

Something about her tone freaked me out, so I released her, letting her crawl across the center and sit herself in the passenger seat, legs tucked up to her chest. I didn’t want her to hate me. Taking her out of Micah’s bed in the middle of the night had already put me on thin ice, and I needed to fucking cool off.

I could feel her staring at me in my peripheral vision.

“Is that better?” I asked, trying and failing to keep the irritation out of my voice.

“Yeah. It’s fine. I hate that you’re doing this, though.”

“Doing what? Trying to spend fucking time with you?”

“I was asleep! I’m exhausted! I don’t want to leave Micah’s house.” Her voice got quieter at the end of her sentence, wobbling a bit. I glanced over to see her quickly swiping tears from under her eyes.

Fuck.

I messed up.

“Why? Is his house better than mine?” I asked. I was driving too fast now, far enough above the speed limit that I’d certainly be pulled over if a cop was given the opportunity. But there weren’t any other cars on the road.

“Just stop, Mason.” Her tears were coming faster, her voice choked up when she spoke.

“Stop what? Stop trying to be with you? Stop trying to love you?”

“You can love me! And I love you! But you⁠—”

“I don’t like that you’re fucking always at his house, always in his bed, and I only get to see you whenever you decide you’re up for it,” I cut her off, making her cry harder. She covered her face with her hands, shoulders shaking. I needed to stop, but I couldn’t. How could she not see the way I orbited her instead of anything else? My jaw clenched painfully. “I fucking love you, Dakota, and it feels like you’re ripping my heart out whenever you need him more than you need me.”

She was practically hyperventilating now, broken sobs tearing out of her chest. She shut her eyes and gritted her teeth as she wrapped her arms tightly around her bent knees, her chest convulsing.

“I hate when you do this to me,” she choked out. “I hate when you make me feel like a terrible person for needing safety from one fucking person in my life! And you’re going to say he’s not safe and you might be right, but he keeps me safe, Mason! You don’t do that shit!”

“Yes I do! Of course I keep you safe, baby!” The words felt like lies as I spoke them, and I couldn’t stand it.

“No. You don’t,” she said, jamming her finger into my chest, her hair falling over my lap as she leaned in my direction. “You lie to me. You hurt me. You make me feel like I’m fucking crazy.”

“And he⁠—”

“It’s not about him right now!” she yelled, louder again, slumping back in her seat angrily. “How come I can’t criticize you without you trying to point out the fact that Micah is terrible too? Can’t you ever just take responsibility for your own actions?”

“I can! Can you?” I shouted at her. “Are you the blameless victim here?”

“I never said that! I never fucking said that!”

“It’s implied, Dakota. You get to cheat on both of us and just expect everyone to be fine with that? To let you do whatever the fuck you want to? And somehow, you’re not in the wrong?” I stared at her, fire blazing in my veins.