Page 117 of Breathe Like Hell

“This is literally the first I’m hearing of it, but I guess that’s fine.” Mason turned my head to face him. There was a look of pure surprise on his face, which I liked. I wanted to be surprising to him. Not boring. “You gonna shoot me in the heart, baby? Pretend you’re killing me?”

Yes, that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

I just shrugged.

“I guess that would be fine,” he said after a minute. “Why do you want to?”

“I’ve never shot anyone.”

“Well, neither have I. Most people haven’t. It’s not exactly a standard experience.”

I leaned close to his ear. “I deserve it.”

He caught my eye as I sat back up, shaking his head slowly. He didn’t protest, though.

This was probably one of my strangest ideas for a date, but the concept had popped into my head a while ago—spurred by my own twisted anger after Mason held the same gun to my head—and now felt like the perfect time. Also, he wouldn’t say no to me. The sole perk of him being a raging asshole who had no concept of boundaries was that I got to get revenge on him if I wanted to.

The three of us made our way over the large rocks down to the beach, the waves sweeping up high on the shore, kissing the dark sand with seafoam. The air smelled like terrible decisions. When I spun around to look at both Micah and Mason, my pulse sped up like crazy.

Fuck.

I’ve never been here with both of them before.

Nerves and uncertainty made me shaky. They could probably see all my idiotic daydreams on my face. Stained into my pink cheeks, bitten into my lips, glistening in my hopeful eyes.

Maybe one day.

I understood Mason was only tolerating this afternoon because he was still on thin fucking ice with me, and Micah…well, I’d forced this upon him.

I turned away and started walking away from them, my boots leaving impressions in the damp sand. But the further I got, the more anxious I felt, the more unsure of my decisions.

What am I doing? My emotions crashed and rushed together in my skull like the waves I was staring at, shame lingering below it all. Would this make Micah hate me for real? Was I going too far with this? Making them doubt their decision to even be with me at all?

Mason caught up with me after a second, but I couldn’t look him in the eyes.

“I changed my mind,” I mumbled, pushing past him back towards the rocks.

He caught my arm, stopping me. “No. Why?”

“It’s stupid and weird.”

“Who cares? I think it’s fun. And you do deserve to see me in some immense pain.”

“Are you sure it’s not dumb?”

“I’m sure.”

Micah approached, his gaze calming me somewhat. Not enough, though.

“Am I being annoying?” I asked him. “Are you angry? Do you think this is weird?”

He lifted his hands to cup my face, his gaze sincere but far away. “No. I would really like to see you shoot him. And it’s really not a big deal—he’ll be fine.”

Okay. Right.

No big deal. This is normal and fun.

Well, not normal, but still okay for me to do.