Page 255 of The Gods Order

His frown deepens.

“This is ridiculous. I don’t know what you’re talking about, and I don’t have time for this tonight.”

“Don’t walk away from me, Derivius,” I plead as he spins like he’s about to leave.

His shoulders rise and fall with measured breaths. I move closer.

“It’d seem your mother shared more with you than I thought she would,” he mumbles, bowing his head and turning back.

“She didn’t tell me the truth. Not about that anyway. I put this together on my own.”

“Pray tell how,” he says, linking his hands behind his back.

“A lot of broken pieces that had to be put together one by one,” I say low, then let a harsh breath spill out.

“When Amick first touched Sabe’s Binding, he saw its truth. The horrors it had done. After meeting Willow and she gave me the second Binding, I realized those horrors had been done in Elementra.”

His lips tighten. Guilt flashes across his face.

“Now that I know everything about the Bindings, things that didn’t make sense started to click. First, Willow isn’t a god. Not a Valorian one anyway, which means she or the strange magical guy you lost the Bindings to had to make an agreement with the Binding for it to work. One Binding in particular would make that possible, and once the agreement was in place with that one, any other would follow.”

He stares down at his shoes, kicking at nothing. His silence is more telling than any argument.

“At Yemi’s, after the Vitos left and we told all of you the truth, at first you didn’t claim it. You asked where I hid the second Binding. When I wouldn’t tell you and told you to hand over yours, you smirked and said I already possessed it. I think that’s the first time you’ve ever actually lied to me.”

“Thayla—”

I hold my hand up.

“When Doren tracked the Bindings, one was in the Neutral. That baffled Amick because he couldn’t understand why Rella would be paranoid. It was out of character. Then my dad told us all the other gods believed you hid yours when you stole Sabe’s.”

I breathe, meeting his pleading gaze.

“Rella told you she wanted time and space after everything, so you got drunk, stole Sabe’s Binding, and went to the nonmagical realm. When you returned, she was colder toward you. After hundreds of years, the only reason she’d be is if you took something from her when you left. And I think that’s exactly what you did. You hid your Binding here but took hers and Sabe’s with you. The only piece I can’t figure out is why she didn’t tell the others.”

His features gut me. His eyes shatter, swelling with water he won’t let fall. His throat bobs.

“Everyone had already disowned me, but she…” He gives a humorless laugh. “She wasn’t satisfied with that. Her knowing and holding it over my head was my personal punishment. At any moment, she could let the truth out and end me completely. She’s been waiting for the right moment.”

His words carry centuries of weight. They sit on my chest until my heart aches.

“You’re afraid to let go of the last piece of power you have.”

He closes his eyes.

“I was always going to give it to you. What you all have to do is far more important than my issues. I just…”

“Wanted to hold on a little longer,” I whisper.

“Yeah.”

He breathes. I study his curved shoulders, tense muscles, and fallen face. My throat aches from the pain written all over him.

“Thank you, Derivius. For all you’ve done for us.”

His eyes flick open. He blinks like that’s the last thing he expected.

“Believe it or not, I’m the furthest thing from upset with you. I understand why you did it and why you didn’t tell me the truth. And…I’m sorry.”