Page 213 of The Gods Order

“That day by the hot spring when you were getting ready to leave me, you said the two of you had to leave to prepare for the consequences of your actions. You made these decisions, knowing what the consequences would be? You knew you wouldn’t be able to return to me?”

“I did.”

My jaw trembles from the effort it’s taking to fight back the tears that want to fall. I refuse to allow them. This is what I wanted. The truth.

“I was worth choosing.”

He takes a small step forward, and I hold my hand up. He halts immediately.

“You were always worth choosing,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper. “We disobeyed the Valories and knew it’d come at a cost to us. Your mother was given a punishment. I was given a choice.”

The words hollow something out inside me.

Punishment…

I stare at him.

“Her punishment was obviously the fact that she couldn’t return to me. Is that why she’s beyond the barrier?”

He dips his head once.

“She was blessed with the impossible. The ability to have a baby when that was never meant to be. The ultimate punishment was taking that child from her. That guaranteed further cooperation from her. From me.”

Rage burns through my blood like a fucking inferno.

That’s cruelty and manipulation. Plain and simple.

They’ve got her just…locked away from me. From the realm.

“And your choice?”

He hangs his head, taking countless measured breaths. His eyes glisten when he finally glances back up at me.

“Return to you or stay with your mother.”

Ice slithers through my veins and my body falls still.

“The Valories made you choose between the two of us.” My quiet statement sits between us for a long moment. “How…how did you even make that choice?”

“The consequences for both decisions were presented to me.”

My attention jerks to Meridamus and his nod for a fleeting second, then back to my father.

“If I chose to return to you, your mother was to be cast beyond the barrier, and I wouldn’t be allowed to see her until the realm was made right once again. She’d be alone until that time came. If I stayed with her—”

“You couldn’t see me but could move freely past the barrier.”

“Yes,” he says. “As long as you never laid your eyes on me, I could continue aiding wherever I was needed.”

“I needed you,” I whisper.

“I know,” he breathes, and a single tear slides down his cheek. “But the woman I loved needed me more.”

A watery, harsh laugh tumbles out of me as I grip the roots of my hair.

“You could’ve found another way. For both of us.”

“There was no other way, Thayla. It was impossible.”