Page 136 of The Gods Order

“Yeah, yeah. It was frustrating for me too. You know I like to have a list and a plan.”

“I know.” I sigh.

A plan…I swear that’s all our lives revolve around right now.

A plan for this. A plan for that. A plan for training.

A plan for sneaking into the Abandon. How to steal Obliteration’s Binding. How to survive once we get there.

Everything has a plan attached to it. Everything except…him.

My gaze flicks toward Val and Meridamus again. They continue their quiet conversation. For all I know, they’re discussing us. Hell, maybe the weather.

I narrow my eyes and focus on the space between them and us. The power surrounding me stretches forward at my command.

“Val,” I say, then pause. “Meridamus.”

Neither diverts their attention, but Yemi’s gaze locks onto my face. She lifts a brow when I peer at her.

“You just separated our voices from their hearing.”

A small, satisfied smile tugs at my lips.

“Maybe.”

“Are you trying to get their attention?” she asks, and the smirk fades.

“I don’t know.”

Her features soften and confuse at the same time.

“What’s wrong, Thay?”

I glance past her and let my attention wander across the meadow while I get my thoughts straight.

“You remember the morning after the Veiling, when we were having breakfast at your house?” I ask. She stares like that was a ridiculous question. I chuckle. “You made the comment about how I’m not an organized person and fuck that was so true.”

I shake my head, smiling at myself as I think about that morning. How pissy I was, fumbling around my room with no lights. How nervous I was about having lunch with the guys.

Gah…time has changed so much.

“The realm and all its taurnshit has swept me off my feet so many times since then that not having a plan literally gives me anxiety. I know we can’t control everything, but at least having a plan helps.”

I take a deep breath and look at her.

My best friend.

For what exactly? I don’t know.

Her guidance. Her ability to always show me a different perspective.

“I have no plan for him,” I say, nodding toward Val. “He was right the other day about how six of my powers search for the outcome first, but it isn’t only my powers. It’s me. I do that. I’ve done it my entire life. I can’t see our outcome. I have no clue what I want our outcome to be.”

Air blows through my nostrils when she lays her hand on my knee and gives me a small shake.

“Has spending the last almost two full days with him changed your mind about talking things out?” she asks.

“No,” I say. Too quickly. “Maybe. I don’t know.”