Page 105 of The Gods Order

“Yeah, I suppose. I guess I just hoped—”

“That eventually they’d come around and all the work you’ve put in over the years wasn’t for nothing. It wasn’t a big waste of time,” I say.

She arches a brow. “Speaking from experience?”

I tsk. “Unfortunately.”

That earns me a small laugh.

“If it’s any comfort to you, your schedule isn’t going to change very much. The structure of the Attendants has already changed dramatically, and with everything going on, you’re already right where the Godsdawn needs you to be,” Yemi says.

“I wouldn’t be completely opposed to some changes.”

I almost choke on a berry.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” she admits. “If I had it my way, I’d stick with you on our training days, but on the others, I’d actually like to be somewhere else besides the Court or barrier. I need some time to learn my actual power, and I do have interests outside of slinging swords, you know.”

No, I didn’t know. It’s good to know, though. I’ll inform Amick.

“Well, if what we believe is correct, which I’m confident it is, your other three men won’t be Defenders, so you can go off with them and see their roles. Experience all kinds of things,” I say. The disgust written across her face confuses the shit out of me. I match the look. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You just called them my men. They’re my Valtrue members.”

Oh…right.

“So you’re not open to joining these two’s little club and having four boyfriends?” Rose asks as she wiggles her eyebrows.

Yemi and I share devious smiles, but they fade at the horror-stricken look Mara’s giving us.

“Oh gods,” she whispers. “Is there something about true completed Valtrues that makes you fall in love with four men?”

Rose’s mouth forms an O before she brings her glass to her lips and diverts her gaze from ours.

“I mean, not necessarily, I suppose,” Yemi says. “I don’t really know how it’ll be for you, but there was definitely a pull to each other between my men and me.”

Mara glares at her, but her eyes are distant like she doesn’t really see Yemi.

“Do…” How do I ask this gently? “Are you attracted to Gladian? At all?”

Bluntly, I guess.

“What? No, absolutely not. Are you kidding me?”

Even if my mind didn’t buzz with the lie, the way she tears her eyes from us and laughs nervously would speak the truth.

“Okay then,” I say, curling my bottom lip between my teeth to keep from laughing at her. “Well, if you’re not attracted to him, then you probably won’t be with the others. If, by some crazy chance that changes, though, that’s okay and honestly the easiest part of growing as a Valtrue. The true battle is learning how to exist beside people who see too much of you. Parts you’d really rather never let anyone see. They eventually become…your family.”

Yemi hums in agreement, smiling to herself. Even Rose is a little doe-eyed, no doubt thinking about Lambrit, although they aren’t a Valtrue. There’s definitely something special there.

Mara’s breathing grows deeper as she stares at us. I swear she’s seconds away from flipping her shit. Finally, after the silence stretches for too long, she shoves herself to her feet.

“Do you think it’s too late?”

“Too late for what?” I ask.

“To stop them from going and finding the other three? I cannot deal with being attracted to four men. I’m already in constant denial over the fact I want to climb Gladian like a damn tree. And now you’re telling me, that feeling could multiply by three? No. Fuck no. Call them off. Tell them I’m not ready to meet them.”