Page 60 of Remember Me

I look around but can’t see Alyssa. I wonder where she’s gone? We seem to be like ships passing in the night lately and I miss her. I make a mental note to have some brother-sister quality time with her—it’s much needed and long overdue. I know a lot of people don’t want to spend too much time with their siblings, but me and Lyss are different. We’ve always been super close, but especially so after Dad died; we became each other's rock, joining forces to be a support unit to help mom through the worst of it.

Lottie isn’t anywhere to be found either, so I assume she’s still sleeping. I take this opportunity to sit with Mom and tell her about my chat with Dad.

“Hey, Mom, making Bella a new sweater?” She stops what she’s doing and looks up at me with a genuine beaming smile on her face.

“Hi, sweetheart, how are you doing? Did you talk to your dad?” she asks whilst I make myself comfortable on the couch.

“I’m actually doing better than I thought. If you had asked me yesterday, I would have said I was a mess, but sitting there next to Dad today really made me realize he wouldn’t want us to still be mourning him ten years later. He’d want us to remember the good times, you know?”

She nods understandingly. “I understand, son, and I think sometimes we feel guilty for not mourning them anymore. Does that make sense?”

It really does. “Yeah, I felt so guilty for moving on and having fun, for laughing. But in reality, that’s all he would have ever wanted for us.”

She looks at me like I finally get it. So, it’s time to bite the bullet and tell her what I asked Dad. “So…I asked Dad a question today, and I truly believe he answered me,” I start.

“Oh really? What did you ask him?”

“I asked him if he could send me some sort of sign he would be happy for you to move on and meet someone else.”

“Jake…” she huffs a sigh.

“I know you keep saying you don’t want to meet someone, but I don’t want you to be alone. You’re still young, you know? You deserve to be happy.” I take her hand in mine, and I hear her sniffle. God, the last thing I wanted to do was upset her. “I asked Dad to send me a sign to tell me you had his approval, and a white feather fell into my lap.”

I pull it out of my pocket and hand it to her. She looks it over and twirls it in her hand, mesmerized by it.

“I also asked him to send me a sign when Mr. Right arrived.” She gives me a watery smile.

“I’m not alone, I’m never alone, and I honestly don’t feel like I need to meet someone right now. I’m happy as I am,” she tells me.

“I’m happy you’re happy, Mom, that’s all I ever want for you. But promise me you will be open to love in the future?”

“I promise you, Jake, I will be open to love if it happens to come my way.” Standing up, I take her in my arms. At 6ft 4”, I tower over her, but at this moment, I feel like I’m her little boy all over again.

I make Mom a cup of tea—she’s really taken a liking to it since Lottie introduced her to it all those years ago—and leave her to her knitting. I bound up the stairs to find my girl still asleep; she’s bundled up like a burrito, with her arm wrapped around my pillow like it’s a person. I take a seat on the edge of the bed and gently stroke her hair out of her face, her lips twitch and then a smile breaks out.

She stretches her arms up as she looks at me with those beautiful grey eyes and rasps, “Hey, what time is it?” She still looks so sleepy, it’s fucking adorable. I almost feel guilty for waking her…almost.

“It’s just gone 12,” I say, looking at my watch.

She gasps, “Oh my god, I’ve been asleep for like three hours?”

“You must be tired; do you want me to let you sleep a bit more?” I ask, cupping her cheek.

She rests her face against my palm, nuzzles into me, and turns to kiss my palm. “No, no. I don’t want to waste the day away sleeping, and I came here to be there for you—I can’t do that if I’m asleep.”

“Honestly, Lottie, just your presence is more than I could ever need. Plus, I need to head to the gym with the guys for a bit, will you be ok here whilst I go?”

“Absolutely, I can hang with your mom, make sure she’s ok. Maybe she can teach me how to knit? I’ve always wanted her to teach me, and now seems like as good a time as any. Plus, it’s something to cross off my list.”

I love the bond she’s always had with my mom; they’re kindred spirits. Both seek out quiet and solitude and, although Lottie may not always think it, they both know how to have fun. I pull her in for a quick squeeze then help her get down the stairs. Her leg is doing so much better, but she hasn’t really had to navigate stairs yet. She manages to get up ok, but downstairs is proving more difficult without assistance.

We reach the living room, where Mom’s still sitting with Bella, knitting away.

“I’m heading to the gym for a quick workout. Do you need anything whilst I’m out?” I ask her.

I can see her doing a mental inventory. “I think we’re all good, but can you just check I have enough milk as Mrs. Teapot is here and we need to keep our girl refreshed?”

I see Lottie smile fondly at my mom. Then I reach over to give Lottie a kiss on the lips.