Page 25 of Sex On A Plate

BEST CHICKEN WINGS

DIFFICULTY: This one, like a good romp in the sheets, will make you sweat.

TIME: 15 minutes.

What you’ll need from the cupboard: 2 mixing bowls, a deep fryer (or a skillet), a spatula, and a slotted spoon.

What you’ll need from the pantry: Saran Wrap. 20 chicken wings. Oil. Half a cup of flour. Paprika. Garlic powder. Pepper. Salt. Cayenne pepper powder. A stick of salted butter. Frank’s Hot Sauce.

* * *

Toss a 1/2 cup of flour into a mixing bowl. Add 1/2 a teaspoon salt, 1/2 a teaspoon of paprika, 1/2 a teaspoon of cayenne pepper, and a dash of garlic powder (a light shake, not a layer). Mix well.

Pat wings dry with a paper towel.

Throw wings in the flour/spice mixture and toss them around. Cover the bowl with Saran Wrap and refrigerate for an hour.

During this time, read half of what’s left of the book you started earlier, THUG.

At the 1-hour mark, you should reach the point that there’s been a few more kidnappings. Although it’ll be tough, set the book aside.

Heat the deep fryer (or oil on a skillet). You’ll need enough oil to cover the wings if using a skillet, but they don’t need to be submerged beneath 3 inches of oil. 3/4 of an inch of oil is more than enough.

When the oil is hot, cook the wings for 10 minutes (the sharp edges will turn brown and crispy). If in a skillet, turn them once.

While the wings are cooking, melt 1/2 a cup of butter in a saucepan. Add 1/2 a cup of Frank’s Hot Sauce. Add few twists from the pepper grinder and a dash of garlic powder. Stir well. You’re heating this mixture, not boiling it.

Heat to simmer.

When the wings are done, shake off the excess oil. Dump the hot little fuckers in a clean mixing bowl.

Add the sauce from the saucepan to the wings.

Toss.

These are the best fucking wings money can buy, hands down. Serve them without anything, with ranch dressing, or with blue cheese dressing. Regardless of how you eat them, you’ll love ‘em.

Why?

Because they’re goddamned good.

Enjoy.