Page 136 of Devil’s Disciples

I stared at him in disbelief. If he were anyone else, I would have called him a pussy. Instead, I merely challenged his claim.

“Are you serious?” I howled, wondering why no one else had burst into laughter. “You sit down to piss?”

“Dead serious. I have since I was a kid, It’s cleaner.”

“I do, too,” Baker said. “Unless I’m outside or in a bar.”

I turned to face him. “You’re shittin’ me.”

“I’m not. It doesn’t splatter. Just like Ghost said, it’s cleaner.”

“Same here,” Tito said.

Reno chuckled. “I stand, like I’m supposed to. God gave us a dick so we could stand and piss. Twats were built for sitting.”

I looked at Goose.

“I sit at home. In public, it’s a different story. I won’t sit on a public toilet. I don’t even drop a deuce in public.”

I fell into my spot on the couch, wondering if I was more masculine than the rest of the men, or if I was simply less concerned with hygiene. Whatever it was, I wasn’t sitting down to piss, that much I was sure of.

“Well,” I stand to piss, and that’ s that,” I said.

“With that, I’ll call this meeting to order,” Baker said with a clap of his hands.

All eyes shifted to Baker.

“A guy in Encino was charged with possession of 200 kilos of heroin, and he beat the charges,” he said, scanning the men as he spoke. “The news showed him leaving court with his girlfriend in a Ferrari Enzo. The car’s worth two-and-a-half-million. I say we need to do a little research and see what we can get out of this guy.”

“Sounds good to me,” Ghost said. “If the fucker was trying to peddle 450 pounds of horse, he deserves everything he gets.”

“Happen to know his address?” Tito asked.

“I was hoping you could help us out,” Baker said. “I have his tag number and his name.”

Tito was much more than a walking library. He was an expert on hacking computers and did so without leaving a trace of his existence. Capable of even prying his way into the most secure government computers, he was the club’s hacker, alarm expert, and guru on the manipulation of electronic funds.

“It’ll just take a minute,” Tito responded.

“After we get his address, we’ll need to do a little reconnaissance,” Baker said. “If we can determine what his schedules are – and figure out what he’s got for an alarm system – then we can plan on hitting this prick and hitting him hard. If he’s driving a two-and-a-half-million-dollar car and in possession of forty-million worth of heroin, he’s got to have money. My guess is that he doesn’t keep it in the bank.”

“If this asshole’s selling 400 pounds of heroin in SoCal, I say ‘fuck this prick’. He’d kill at least a dozen or more by overdose,” I said.

“Statistically speaking,” Tito chimed. “He’d kill--”

“I don’t give a fuck about statistics,” I said. “The guy’s an asshole. I vote we take him down.”

“Second.” Ghost said.

Baker looked at Goose.

“Agreed,” Goose said.

“Same,” Tito said.

Reno gave a nod. “No argument here.”

Our club was made up of six men who were as close as brothers. Each one had their specialty, and the club relied on them to perform their task throughout the course of the robberies we committed.