Page 43 of Cash

With my look of disbelief still etched on my face, I moved the hose to the Chalk Live Forevers. “I don’t believe those things actually happen.”

With her back painfully arched and her tits and face pointed skyward, she didn’t bother opening her eyes to respond. “You haven’t read any of those books yet, have you?”

“I haven’t had time.”

She tilted her head to the side and opened her eyes. “Maybe you should. They’re a wealth of information.”

I swallowed heavily. “Sounds like it.”

Wondering if Cash not coming by was more of a Godsend than anything else, I surveyed the remaining flowers. “If that’s what real bikers are like, why would you want to be with one?”

“Sex,” she responded. “It’s all about the sex.”

“Nothing more?”

“It can’t be with them.” she said adamantly. “They won’t stand for it.”

I wanted to challenge her, tell her she was wrong, or provide something to support my belief that Cash wasn’t like that. His absence, however, left me to question myself. The night he left, I would have guessed his return was imminent. After ten days of not so much as a word out of him, I couldn’t help but wonder if Jennifer’s books were written by former club whores who were truly knowledgeable of an MC’s behavior. Meth addicts who had spent their days spreading their bodily fluids on the stripper poles in clubs such as Cash’s.

“I don’t need a man in my life,” I said. “If he stops by, he stops by. If not, I’m fine with that, too.”

She shifted her attention skyward. “If he does, are you going to give him another blowie, or are you going to ride that big dick of his?”

“Probably neither.” I dragged the hose around the porch and started watering the Cleveland Sage on the other side. “At least not until I know him better.”

“What’s to know?” she asked. “Anything he tells you is going to be a lie. Then, if you have sex with him based on those lies, it’ll hurt that much more when he disappears. Have sex with him because you want that dick. Not for any other reason. Then, when he disappears, you got what you wanted, he got what he wanted, and no one got hurt.”

For once in my life, Jennifer’s illogical sexual babble made sense. Not perfect sense, but sense, nonetheless. I’d already established my worth by denying Cash sex when he asked the first time.

I had no further points to prove.

If he stopped by, my focus would be about me and my needs, and nothing more. The last thing I needed was a man in my life that was destined to hurt me again.