Page 64 of Thick

“What do you know about Weight Watchers points?”

“During my course of writing, I’ve researched just about everything on earth.”

“Really?”

“Want to know the best burger joint in Augusta, Georgia?”

She smiled. “Sure.”

“Farmhaus Burgers. And, if you go, be sure to get the fried pickles.”

“Are they good?”

“I have no idea,” I said. “Never been there.”

“That’s funny.”

“What if you’re on Mission Beach, and you need a surf board?”

She shrugged.

“Go see Luke Eagan. He’s got a place right off the boardwalk.”

“Do you surf?”

“Never tried. But I researched it. No differently than Weight Watchers.” I cocked my head to the side and did my best to recall my research. Upon doing so, I met her gaze. “Let’s see. Unaltered fruit is zero. Veggies? Zero. Sugar, for the most part, is a point a teaspoon. Coffee is zero, as long as you don’t add anything to it. White turkey meat and white chicken meat is roughly a point an ounce, unless it’s skinless boneless breast meat, which is a point for each three ounces. Eggs are two points each. Ice cream is a no-no, unless is Halo Top, and then you can go wild. A cup is only four points.”

Her eyes went wide. “You know about Halo Top?”

“Again, I’ve never had it, but I’ve read about it.”

“I’ve had it,” she said. “It’s so good.”

“We should have some.”

“You can have regular ice cream. Why would you want Halo Top?”

I chuckled. “Most people think I can eat whatever I want. I eat egg whites, turkey, chicken, Kashi Go Lean cereal, green vegetables, almonds, a little bit of brown rice from time to time, and very little fruit. For the most part, that’s it.”

Her eyebrows raised. “Seriously?”

I nodded. “Yep.”

“You forgot oatmeal,” she said.

I chuckled. “Never ate it once.”

“But. You said the breakfast was your favorite meal.”

“It was. Not because of the oatmeal. Because of the eggs. I flushed the oatmeal.”

She let out a laugh. “Really?”

“Every day.”

“You seemed so happy to get it.”

“I was happy to see you. The oatmeal? Not so much.”