Page 14 of An Engagement with the Enemy

Catherine approached, her cowslips still in hand and a stern frown on her face. “Eavesdroppers never hear anything good about themselves, James. Our conversation was private.”

“If you mean it concerned my private business, I agree with you.” He cast his sister a look he hoped she read aright, filling his gaze with disappointment. “Must you persist in confiding everything to Miss Westcote? I suppose her relentless efforts to worm her way into our family ought to be expected, as she has nothing of interest in her own life,” James said, casting a disdainful glance at the now mute Jessica.

“James—” His sister’s tone held warning, but he kept going, his humiliation and frustration coming together to turn him into a beast.

His voiced dripped with contempt, “It’s truly remarkable how she manages to ingratiate herself with everyone around her, pretending to be a cherished member of our family. But let’s not forget, Catherine, she is nothing more than an outsider, trapped in this small corner of the world, seeking to infiltrate our private matters because her own are dull and meaningless.” James’s words carried a cruel edge, meant to wound and humiliate, as he had been humiliated. He observed a pained flicker in Jessica’s eyes, yet he couldn’t stop himself. “She may be good at playing the part, but let’s not mistake her inappropriate curiosity for genuine care.”

As the last words hung in the air, James saw the hurt etched on Jessica’s face, her spirit shattered. It was an ugly sight, one that made his stomach turn over. Regret washed over him, mingling with a pang of guilt. He had gone too far, allowing his bitterness to consume him, and in the process, he had wounded a woman respected and cared for by his family.

Jessica stepped backward, her chin rising sharply, but he detected an unfamiliar twist to her lips. He’d never attacked Jessica’s relationship with his family in their bouts before. Mostly due to sympathy, misguided as he sometimes thought it, because Jessica had lost her mother.

“James,” his sister shouted, then stepped between him and Jessica as though to act as a human shield. For which of them, he could not tell. But she addressed him first. “Everyone was bound to learn the reason behind our father’s plans for you sooner or later, and Jessica is family to me. Apologize at once.”

“I do not want an apology from him,” Jessica said, and both James and Catherine turned to look at her. Her face had turned pale, and her gray eyes darkened to the shade of a thunderhead. Every word she spoke shook with emotion. “He never means them, and he usually says something awful within the same breath. Let him say what he will, in fact. I can ignore the buzzing of a gnat, whose existence is insignificant to me even if it is a nuisance from time to time.”

The well-delivered words made James wonder for a moment if she had practiced saying them at some point in the past and had merely waited for the perfect moment to use them. Whatever their intended effect, his soul cringed away from what she said. The impression she had of him could not be so bleak, could it? Yet it was quite deserved, this time.

Most of their sparring ended with smiles or smirks. This occasion had gone too far for that.

Catherine glanced from him to her friend with an uneasy grimace. “Then allow me to apologize. You know Mama and I love you, dear. You must ignore anyone”—she cast a glare at James—“who says otherwise.”

“Thank you. If you will excuse me.” She dropped her gaze to the ground, and a stuttered breath escape her lips. “I have remembered an appointment, and I must be on my way home. If my father is yet with yours, will you please let him know I have returned ahead of him?” She briefly clasped Catherine’s hands in farewell. “We will speak again soon, of course. Good afternoon, Cate.”

The sudden formality she took on didn’t mask the tremble in her voice.

“Jess.” Catherine kept hold of her friend. “You should sit. You don’t appear well.”

A strangled laugh parted Jessica’s lips, as pale as the rest of her. “A brisk walk will set me to rights, I assure you.” Her voice lowered as she said, “Please, Cate. Just let me go.”

He sensed she hadn’t meant him to hear those words, and a wave of remorse threatened to drown him. Only a coward would speak to a woman as he had, with intent to wound her heart. And for what? His own stung pride?

Jessica pulled away from Catherine’s grasp. She ignored James, marching around him and not making eye contact as she made her way across the grounds to the footpath that led from his family’s property to hers. But he caught a strange gleam in her eyes as she rushed by him.

A bruising thump on his arm made him yelp and move away from his sister, who had landed her punch with strength as well as accuracy. “You horrid child. How could you give us such a fright and then insult Jessica, my dearest friend in the world, and her place in my life?”

He rubbed where she had struck him. “It is as I said. I didn’t mean to overhear anything. I was in the tree first, and there never seemed an appropriate moment to inform you both that I heard every word said.” His defense was weak in his ears.

“So you leaped upon Jessica like some sort of villain?” she asked, her voice rising with indignation. “I don’t care what she says, you owe her an apology. A sincere, humble, thorough apology. You ought to kneel in the dust at her feet as you give it for how horrible you were.” She shook her finger at him. “I’ve tolerated your dislike of her my entire life. Your teasing and tormenting of her seemed of little consequence given how well she turned your unflattering words back upon you. But this wasn’t amusing, James. It was cruel. You would never have said such a thing to anyone else of our acquaintance.”

James winced at the vehemence behind his sister’s words, yet he tried to justify himself. “I spoke truly enough. She puts herself into our business as though she belongs there.”

“Because I have invited her there,” Catherine corrected. “Because Mama adores her. Because she is a wonderful, kind, thoughtful woman who has never done a thing to hurt me, nor has she ever betrayed a confidence. Jessica is one of the best people I know, and I cannot understand why you must be at odds with her now that you are both grown. The fighting is childish, James.” She shook the cowslip at him next. “If you do not apologize within the day, I will tell our father and mother about every word you have ever spoken against Jessica and let them teach you the manners you obviously never learnt in the nursery.” She stormed by him, making for the castle.

Hands curled into fists, James glared after his sister, as indignant as a spoiled child. Precisely as she’d said. But the memory of Jessica’s wounded eyes, the tremble in her voice, drained the remaining fire from his temper. Without the heat of his emotions to spur him on, the truth and horror of what he had done settled on his heart. Regret weighed more than pride.

Catherine was right. And he knew it.

He had to make amends, to apologize for the hurtful words he had spoken. His behavior was petty and immature, unbecoming of a gentleman.

Her eyes had gleamed, and he realized they’d been brimming with tears. He’d made Jessica cry. Or come near enough to it. The sudden comprehension hit him like a punch to his gut, sickening him.

Jessica had always been a true friend to his sister, and she deserved better. Even if she often played havoc with his sanity and left him provoked to the point of madness.

James tried not to think about what he would say. He would apologize. Profusely, sincerely, and on his knees if need be. And if by some miracle she accepted, he knew their bitter rivalry had the potential to change. Perhaps it was past time for such a thing. All they needed was a chance to move past their painful history toward a more positive relationship, built on mutual understanding and respect.

Or, at minimum, common politeness.

Though without hat or gloves, James didn’t dare return to the castle before fulfilling his sister’s demand. He hadn’t seen Catherine in such a state in years. Not since he’d accidentally beheaded one of her dolls with the blade of an ice skate.