Page 70 of Romancing the Artist

“I am not certain of his feelings yet,” she protested.

“And if he refrains from telling you for the same reason?” he asked, arching one eyebrow at her.

Caroline lowered her gaze. She didn’t have an answer for that. “I didn’t come here to fall in love.”

Her papa bent to catch her eye. “Love involves vulnerability and taking chances, even if there is a possibility of uncertainty or rejection. You must be as courageous in your feelings as you are in your art. Growth comes from uncomfortable moments and truths. If I hadn’t dared to tell your mother how I felt, even though I had nothing to give her but my heart, we wouldn’t be sitting together this evening.”

Sir Isaac and Lord Inglewood had been talking in low tones, and the baronet finally raised his voice. “Duncan, I have been challenged to a duel. Will you be my second?”

“Duel?” A lazy smile stretched over her papa’s face, and Caroline caught another glimpse of the past as he swung his stare toward them. “What sort of duel?”

“A duel of billiards. Inglewood thinks he can best me at the table. Care to come see to it the rules are followed?”

“I am not known for caring overmuch about rules. But why not?” Papa rose and winked at Caroline. Then said, “What about you, Everly? Do you enjoy billiards?”

“I do,” Edward said, his expression pleasant but somehow not as open as Caroline was used to seeing. “But the hour is late, and I must rise early in the morning at my father’s request. We are taking my cousin shooting. Again.”

“A shame. But familial duty must be done.” Papa went to him and held his hand out. After a moment’s hesitation, Edward clasped it in his own. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Everly. I look forward to introducing you to my wife and my other children in a week’s time.”

“Thank you, Mr. Duncan.”

“Caroline? Why don’t you escort Mr. Everly to the door. The two of you can finally speak to one another without your father listening to every word.”

Lady Fox and Lady Inglewood both gasped, the baronetess protested on Caroline’s behalf. “You must stop teasing the young people, Neil.”

“Not at all sporting of you,” Lady Inglewood agreed with a grin. “Run along and play billiards with your friends and leave the poor children alone.”

He held up both hands as though to ward off their words, then left via the doorway the other gentlemen had already disappeared through.

Edward’s ears had turned red, and Caroline knew her own cheeks were a shade to match. But she gamely joined him at the bookcase and took his arm. “We may as well make our escape now, before he comes back.” She needed to talk to him, of course, but hadn’t wished to make such a scene of it. His smile didn’t reach his eyes as he allowed her to lead them from the room. Once in the corridor with its softly burning wall sconces, Caroline slowed her steps. He matched her pace, but kept his gaze trained ahead of them both.

“You have been so quiet,” she said at last. “All afternoon. Is something troubling you?”

He heaved a sigh and lifted his shoulders in a shrug. “I didn’t expect to meet your father so soon. He asked a great many questions, too.”

“He likes you.”

“Does he?” Edward’s smile lasted less than a second. “I wonder how swiftly that would change if he knew the truth. I cannot imagine he would be happy to know I have used his daughter’s kindness for my own benefit.”

The words were brittle and strangely sharp when they touched Caroline’s heart. She stopped their progress altogether and released her hold on Edward’s arm. “That isn’t what you have done. Not at all, Edward. You cannot see it that way still, after all these weeks we have spent together. We have helped each other, as friends do.”

He winced, though she could not guess why. “This hasn’t been easy for you, though. Lying to them in your letters, and now face to face. And your mother comes next week.”

Caroline shook her head. “I don’t understand you, Edward. Do you wish me to tell them the truth? To end our relationship?” She wanted to take him by the shoulders and make him look at her, but refrained. “What will that do to Mariah?”

“I find I do not care as much as I did before,” he said, and Caroline gaped at him. What had happened to Edward? Why had he grown so solemn, so horribly glum? Right as she was feeling more content with the world, comforted by her father’s visit and reassurances.

“Edward, how can you say that? Mariah is your friend.”

“Mariah should have told her parents the truth from the beginning and spared me making a ridiculous promise to her.” If he had spoken with heat or anger, Caroline might have understood. But he seemed so lost and his voice was too quiet.

She needed to bring him out of whatever fog had overcome his mind. “You are not one to speak of such things, give your refusal to tell your father the truth.”

That brought his gaze to hers at last, and she caught a flicker of something in his eye. “What do you mean?”

“Your dreams are withering here, Edward,” she said, taking one of his hands in both of hers. “As I have come to know you, the closer we have become, the more I have seen the desperation in your heart and mind. You aren’t happy. You refuse to speak of what you want, to stand up for yourself, and it is eating away at you. Why won’t you tell him you want to travel? That you have places you wish to see and things you want to do with your life before you take on management of the estate?”

The spark flared brighter, and too late Caroline realized it was anger. He drew his hand back. “You don’t understand. I cannot tell him anything about it. I barely managed my trip to Rome, and he still brings that up time and time again, calling it a waste and me a fool for thinking such a journey was necessary. It didn’t matter that those were the best weeks of my life. Asking to leave again, to go anywhere, would drive a wedge between us as it did between my father and his, between my uncle and my father. I would be admitting that he failed to make me a man of reason and responsibility.”