Page 55 of The Gentleman Physician

“Did you appreciate it?” He’d asked the question before evaluating whether it was sensible to voice it. He cleared his throat and looked down, feeling more like a schoolboy than a physician. “I am sorry. That was—”

“I did, very much,” she said hastily, before he could apologize.

Nathaniel brought his eyes up to hers once more, drawing in a deep breath. She smelled of lilacs and springtime.

An idea struck him, and Nathaniel acted on it without thinking. Timothy would likely be proud of him later.

“Would you come with me? There is something I would like to say to you, in private.” He held his hand out to her. Not his arm, as a proper escort would do, but his hand, without a glove to provide a barrier between them.

Julia looked from his hand to his face, and he hoped she saw his earnestness. Then she reached out, her fingers as uncovered as his, touching lightly against his. Nathaniel parted his fingers and entwined them with hers, his palm meeting Julia’s in a grasp that sent his heart racing and his hopes soaring.

“This way.” He did not have to pull or tug—she matched her steps to his, following him to the conservatory. Nathaniel’s blood sang through his veins, and his courage mounted.

He had seized the moment, and he would lay his heart at her feet.

∞ ∞ ∞

The world around Julia and Nathaniel remained still and silent, as befitting a house in mourning, but Julia’s heart beat a staccato rhythm most appropriate to the whirl of thoughts in her head. Taking Nathaniel’s hand, trusting to follow where he led, meant putting her more practical thoughts and responsibilities aside, even if only for a short time. They moved quietly through the halls to the conservatory.

The last time they’d stood in that room, she’d watched him leave with her heart in her throat. For an instant, she’d felt certain he wanted to take her in his arms, but told herself after he would never feel more tenderness towards her than was appropriate in a friendship.

Perhaps she was wrong.

When they reached the same corner where she’d sat, waiting to return his medical bag after Mr. Macon’s underhanded bribe attempt, Nathaniel gave the hand he held a gentle squeeze. Rather than release her from his grasp, he held his other hand out. Julia took that one, too.

“Miss Devon,” he said. “Julia.” His blue eyes took her in, searching her face for some sign, appearing anxious.

“Nathaniel.” She spoke his name with tenderness, trying to ignore the loud drumming of her heart. He had looked at her like this only once before, she knew, the day before he’d gone to speak to her father about courting her. They had been walking through Hyde Park, her maid at an appropriate distance, and he’d stopped in the middle of the path to gaze at her. All those years ago, she had marked that moment as the best in her life but had since tried to bury it with its resulting pain. Now that look was a balm to her weary heart.

He lowered his gaze to their joined hands, then slowly lifted one to place a kiss across it, his lips firm and warm against her skin. Julia felt sparks ignite and race from her fingers to her toes, her every nerve tingling in pleasant surprise.

Nathaniel’s eyes raised to hers as he lavished the same gentle press of lips to her other hand, watching her carefully for her reaction.

Julia could not help the shiver that overtook her, or the way her mouth parted as the pleasant sensation overtook her. In all their time together before, he’d never touched her in such a way. He’d always kept a proper, and cautious, distance between them, as a gentleman should.

“Dear Julia, how are you?” he asked, his words concerned and gentle.

Her heart would’ve fallen if not for the endearment preceding her name. She’d almost expected a declaration after his gentle ministrations.

He’s a doctor, she remembered and tried to fight her amusement. Of course he will want to assess your well-being. If anything, that realization made her love him more. Nathaniel Hastings would always put the care of others first, before his own concerns and wants, because that was the kind of man he had always been.

“I am a little tired, but otherwise quite well. Thank you.” She carefully removed one hand from his to gesture to the bench behind them. “May we sit?” Perhaps if he did not worry after her, he would say what was really on his mind. If not, she would say exactly what was on hers.

He followed her and sank down next to her, keeping her other hand in his, and then drawing it closer to him.

“Julia, I must speak to you. I know it might not be the most appropriate time—”

She shook her head vehemently. “Nathaniel, there is never a perfect time to say anything, but there are plenty of missed opportunities. Please, tell me. What are you thinking?” She hoped her encouragement was gentle enough, but considering the leap of her heart, it very well may be too exuberant.

Nathaniel’s eyes lit up and the corners wrinkled in amusement. She had not seen him smile like that since London, and he looked happier than she’d seen him since meeting him again in Bath.

“What am I thinking? I’m thinking that this is the perfect time after all. Julia, after we parted in London, my heart ached and my soul remained lonely. I spent years trying to forget you, telling myself we were not meant to be, and trying to rejoice in avoiding a connection to the cold person I convinced myself you were.”

A prick of pain in her heart reminded her that she had been doing the same ever since her disastrous first and only London season. She’d hoped he would return, would not give up on her, but she’d known that her indifferent response to his feelings had crushed him. Those years of derision from her father, loneliness as she tried to raise her sisters, had built a wall around her heart.

She was more than ready for Nathaniel to dismantle them.

“But seeing you again, speaking with you, being near you, has made me realize that, despite my best efforts, I never stopped loving you.”