Page 21 of The Gentleman Physician

He glanced down at his fine evening wear, creased from kneeling next to the child’s bed, and shrugged. “I’m not sorry at all. I am the family physician, Lady Heatherton. It is my duty to come when called and my pleasure to serve you.” He bowed at the waist, then gathered his things and left.

A maid lingered in the hall, wringing her hands. When she saw him, she approached quickly. “How’s the wee one, Doctor?” she asked in a concerned, North-country tongue.

“He will be fine. It’s only croup. Could you please go to the kitchens and send up some hot water with lemon for him, and a spoonful of honey. Tea for Lady Heatherton, too, I should think.”

“At once, sir.” The maid curtsied and disappeared down a back staircase.

Nathaniel moved with a lighter step when he came down the hall to the main stairs, relieved that his reason for being called was not as dire as he feared. He met Julia on the stairs, her arms full of towels and supplies for a mustard plaster. She stopped halfway up and gave him a smile full of gratitude.

“Will he be all right, do you think?” she asked, her eyebrows lifted and her expression hopeful.

“Yes, once he is breathing a little easier. Croup rarely even lasts out a week. His cough will be at its worst late at night or when he first rises, but by breakfast every day he will be his usual self. If not, you must send for me again.” Nathaniel glanced upward and then down to where he knew the study to be. “I need to pen some directions for Edward’s care. Might I use the study?”

“Yes, of course. I will be down directly to collect your notes.”

“Excellent.” He continued on his way and she on hers.

Nathaniel entered the empty study and made short work of finding the writing supplies necessary to write out detailed instructions for Edward’s care, and Lady Heatherton’s need for rest.

∞ ∞ ∞

Julia found that Nurse Smyth had returned to the nursery and Virginia insisted on applying the plaster herself. Julia lingered, uncertain of what she might do, until a maid appeared with a tea tray. With several adults in the nursery, Julia felt able to slip out and go downstairs to find Nathaniel and get his list of directives.

She entered the study to find him bent over a sheet of paper, using a pencil to make his notes. Julia waited quietly at the door, watching him. His fair-colored hair shone gold in the lamplight, and the shadows showed every angle of his face in a way she could not help but admire. How many hours had she spent dreaming of that handsome face?

Nathaniel glanced up and paused when he saw her standing there. She tensed, hoping her admiration of him was not obvious. But she realized, when he only went back to his writing, that she remained mostly in shadow. He could not see her expression. She nearly breathed a sigh of relief but forced herself to take a step forward instead.

“I have written it all out,” he said, straightening and pushing himself away from the desk. He lifted the sheet of paper and held it out to her. “And as I told your cousin, I will be back in the morning to check on him.”

Julia stepped forward to accept the paper. She admired his handwriting, neat and precise, easily read. “I will be sure we study your notes. Thank you.”

“Not at all.” He stood still, peering down at her, the room more in shadow than light. She could not read his expression well, though it did not look overly pleased.

He took in a deep breath and glanced away, to the open door. “Miss Devon, as we have a moment to ourselves, there is something I must say to you.”

Her nerves must have been raw as she could not hold back the teasing words that rose to her tongue. “To me, or the doorway, Doctor Hastings? I’m down here.”

Nathaniel’s expression changed, growing harder, and he lowered his eyes to her.

She forced a smile, fighting back her disappointment in his obvious reluctance to speak to her.

“There now. I am ready to hear whatever you wish to say.” He must wish to continue their discussion from that morning at the park, about her worries for Virginia and what he might do to help the family. Already, he did so much. Though it seemed an eternity passed between the time Julia dispatched a messenger to find him and his arrival, she knew not even an hour had passed before he entered the nursery with his bag in hand.

“It is about our prior acquaintance, Miss Devon. About before, in London.”

His words had the same influence as a cold rain on her spirits. Julia’s cheer washed away and a chill settled into her bones. Though their past often entered her thoughts of late, she had not expected a need to revisit those memories in his presence. What could he possibly wish to say to her? Judging from his expression, his very reluctance to speak, it could not be anything pleasant.

“I hardly see the need to speak of matters from long ago,” Julia told him, looking anywhere but at his face. “I believe there is nothing to say.”

He folded his arms across his chest, his blue eyes like ice. “Perhaps not for you, but there are certain things I have wished to tell you for some time.”

Julia treasured her memories from the time before her father had dressed Nathaniel down, denying his suit. She tried not to even think about her last words to him, said with as much impassiveness as she could muster as she attempted to spare both their hearts any further pain. Hearing him speak of the past would only hurt more.

She took a step back, shaking her head. “Perhaps I do not wish to hear it, Nath—Doctor Hastings.” Julia bit her tongue and closed her eyes, mortified at the near slip. Thinking on the past had addled her enough that she forgot the rules of society and nearly said his Christian name aloud.

“You must, Julia.” Her eyes popped open when he spoke her name; the syllables sounded gentle on his tongue but she saw at once the rest of him remained in that hard stance, immovable, without warmth. “I let you speak, all those years before, and left without a fight. But now, as we are thrust together in a manner we cannot help, I must have my say.”

His determination made her cringe. He would say nothing good. But Julia knew she must be fair, no matter how much she wished to abandon the room. She could not abandon him.