Page 35 of Pretty Nightmare

He turns his head to look at me, his blue eyes catching the sun. His skin is already golden brown from being outside and his hair is lighter than it typically is in the winter.

He reminds me so much of that kid I once knew, even though he hasn’t been that kid for decades.

“I said,” he says, “we could just all be together.”

We’re very close. Just inches apart. All squished together on the end of this dock. “We are together, Adam.”

“Don’t play with me, McKay. You know what I mean.”

“Dude, I love you. You know that.”

He huffs and stares off across the lake. “Listen, if you’re just gonna let me down easy, go the fuck away.” He turns to meet my gaze again. “OK? Just go the fuck away.”

“You just took me by surprise, that’s all. And back then, the answer was definitely no.”

His eyes are locked on mine. “Back then?”

I take a deep breath. Because I only get to have this conversation once. “I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about what you did to Indie when you took Maggie away.”

“I was just trying to protect everyone.”

“Really, Adam? You’re really gonna stick with that?”

“It’s the truth.”

“Whatever. Just… don’t fucking talk. Just let me say what I have to say.”

“Hold up.” He leans back a little so he can grip my shoulder.

“What?” I shrug his hand off and nearly lose my balance on the edge of the dock.

“If you’re just gonna tell me the same shit today as you did all those years ago, then I don’t want to hear it.”

“You don’t get to cheat, Adam.”

“What? How am I cheating?”

“You don’t get a spoiler before the conversation starts. That’s not how this works. You have to listen from beginning to end, just like everyone else. You don’t get the answer before the question. You don’t get to protect your heart like that. You don’t get to cut me off and walk away before I get to say my piece.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“It is what you meant.”

He throws up his hands. “Talk then. I’m listening.”

I pause, gathering up my thoughts and dialing down my annoyance with him. “Four. Fucking. Years.”

He lets out a long breath.

“You were gone four fucking years.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Just shut up and listen to me. I have spent nearly every day with you since I was nine years old. There were times when we were apart. Few days, maybe a week every now and then. But years, Adam?” I shake my head. “Years? No. We don’t just up and disappear on each other for years.” He turns his head to face me, his mouth opening, but I cut him off. “Don’t you dare say sorry.”

“Then what am I supposed to fucking say? Huh? What is it you need to hear, McKay?”

“I don’t need to hear anything. I’m the one talking. You’re the one listening. Why is this so fucking hard for you?”