Page 129 of Pretty Nightmare

So that’s what I’m doing. I’m waiting. I’m cold and numb already and I’ve only been here for a few minutes.

I listen to lots of things.

The little kids screaming and crying.

The hunters, with their heavy boots, chasing them. Making them cry harder.

A few cracks of rifles.

“Darts,” my grandfather said. “They’re just darts. The killing will come later.”

I hear all that. Plus the chattering of my own teeth.

And then I hear something else.

“Fuck. You!”

I peek my head up, my whole body shaking so hard from cold that this new air feels hot across my chest.

It’s not a man cursing. It’s a little girl.

I get up out of the water and run up the muddy embankment. She’s blonde, but we’re all blond. So I shouldn’t know which little girl she is.

But I do know.

She’s standing in the middle of a well-worn dirt path. Her white dress is filthy, but there’s a moon out, so it still looks pretty.

“Indie!” I whisper-hiss. “What are you doing?”

She looks at me, her face contorted in a fit of childhood anger. “Fuck them! I’m not running! I’m not afraid!”

She’s wiry and small even though we’re the same age. “She’s a troublemaker,” my grandfather said the first day he arrived on the island. “Stay away from that one. She’s not gonna make it. She will let them catch her just to be defiant.”

I blink at her a couple times. Then I scramble out onto the dirt path and take her hand. I jerk her into the thick jungle shrubbery and she fights me, so we end up tumbling down the embankment and splashing into the river.

“Let me go!” She screams it.

My heart thumps in my chest. Because the other rule was, “Don’t say nothing, Nathan. Don’t cry, or talk, or scream. Or they will find you.” And then he shook me by the shoulders. “Do you hear me?”

I nodded.

But Indie must not’ve gotten this cheat. So I cup my hand over her mouth. Tight. She’s a fighter. Real tough for a girl who is barely five. But I am taller. And heavier. And I like her. I would like her to live. Maybe my grandfather will take her home too?

So I wrestle her, pinning her underneath me in the cold river water. She gasps for air, and swallows water, and starts to cough.

But I do not take my hand away from her mouth.

I lean down in to her ear and whisper, “If you stay still and quiet, I’ll help you cheat, Indie. I’m leaving. My grandfather is taking me away from here and if you stay still and quiet, I’ll take you with me.”

Then she went still and her eyes closed. And I knew something was wrong. So I let go of her. But she didn’t move, or cry, or scream or do anything.

So I just stared down at her face as it turned blue.

And then I slapped her.

Because I’m scared. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to be caught. And I don’t want to be alone.

I slap her again and this time she coughs. Weakly. And water comes up out of her mouth. Her face isn’t blue anymore. But she’s still quiet, and her eyes are still closed.