Page 57 of Sexy

“Girlfriend? I heard that was his secretary or some shit. Figured she wanted to experience the show like a VIP. Oh, by the way, where were the VIP’s?”

“Newsflash, dickhead. She’s sitting at a table with him, then she’s his. Off-limits.”

“You gonna tell me Tiffy’s off-limits too?”

“She is, Fletcher. And you will not choose her tonight. I do not need another lecture from Cole like last time.”

“What lecture?” This is news to me.

“He was all over my ass after he heard. He said to keep you away, and I plan on it, brother. You’re not gonna fuck up my job—”

“You’re quitting your job, Chandler. Everyone knows this.”

He just stares at me.

“You’re quitting, aren’t you?”

“Cole offered me a position in Vegas. And I’m gonna take it.”

“What position?”

“Dude, you know I’m only doing this show because it’s all that was available. Well, they’ve got a hotel show in Vegas that needs a producer. And Cole offered it to me.”

“In exchange for what?”

“Just…” He stops to let out a long sigh. “Just to get rid of you, asshole. And you’re ready to move on, anyway. So I said yes.”

“Thanks a lot, you dick.”

“You’re done here, Fletcher. You and I both know it. So don’t hate me because I have solid plans.”

I point to the door. “Get the fuck out of here. And fuck you and your plans.”

“You gotta grow up sometime, Fletch. You had a good run, but it’s over.”

I kick the trashcan and it goes flying. And then I hear Chandler introducing Steve and start putting on my next costume. I fucking hate that Cole guy. I don’t know what it is, but he’s a douche. I’m going to ruin his night by making his girl compare him to me. And I’m going to do it right in front of his face.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

By the time I’m back on stage doing my Navy officer act, Cole and the secretary aren’t even sitting next to each other at that table, and Tiffy’s smile is so bright she lights up the room.

God, she’s pretty. That whole conversation this afternoon where she called herself second best was shocking.

I start my act, barely paying attention. This one is not new. I’ve been doing it since the first show I was ever in. I salute, click my heels, and then start stripping by peeling the white gloves off my hands one finger at a time.

The crowd is wild tonight. I’ve got three bridesmaids flashing their tits before I even get rid of one glove. And by the time the shirt is coming off, I’ve got two girls fighting to stuff dollars in my pants in the front row.

But Tiffy, man. Her self-image earlier surprised me. This is what I mean, though. Take Katie, for instance. She’s a successful… whatever you call her position at that law office. It’s not romantic and thrilling like they make it look in the movies. It’s corporate shit. She sits in an office all day, has a few meetings, goes home to a nice apartment. She’s got all that career shit figured out. But she’s unsatisfied. And she can’t find a guy who interests her and vice versa, so she blames herself.

But it’s not her. It’s assholes like me who make her feel like it’s her. Assholes who never call back. Assholes who take her out and expect more than they should. Assholes who can’t commit.

I grab the sides of my pants at the thighs and rip. The snaps all give way, and then I throw them behind me. Bitches will steal your clothes if you’re not careful.

I take my attention back to the secretary and point at her. She smiles wide and her face goes red. She gives Cole a half-glance, but then raises her shoulder closest to him.

The brushoff.

She heard my offer and she’s all in.