Page 91 of Mr. Perfect

But today is the day I let her know… I need her.

Chapter Thirty-Five - Ellie

“Are you nervous?” Ming asks, brushing a piece of lint off the shoulder of my dress.

“Kind of. Why am I doing this? I feel so stupid.”

“Eloise Hatcher,” Ming says in her stern BFF voice. “If you were life-coaching yourself right now…”

I stop listening. She’s been doing that to me for months. Eloise Hatcher! If you were life-coaching yourself right now you’d ask why you set yourself up for failure… or why you have such a low opinion of what you do… or why you don’t own the good you do in this world.

I know all that. But that psychology doesn’t help much when you use it on yourself.

“Maybe I need a life coach?” I ask Ming.

She scowls at me. “You have me, bitch. And if I hear one more excuse for why you shouldn’t own your success I’ll…”

I’ve heard all those threats too. She’s not right, though. Not about how I’m feeling right now, at least. Right now it’s not doubt. It’s nerves. From being back here at Stonewall Entertainment. Ming and Jennifer have tried to set me up with interviews on all the shows to promote the book, but I said no. I didn’t want to bump into Mac. I can’t go through another round of texts and invitations from him. I feel like I’m almost over that whole relationship.

Relationship. Ha.

Sexcapade is more like it.

But I’m moving on. I straighten out a wrinkle in my dress as Karen and Jose do my intro.

I miss him though. I miss him like crazy. And even though I didn’t want him to text or call, I secretly did. Do. I wish he’d never given up on me because I hate the fact that I walked out.

“With us today,” Jose says, “is Eloise Hatcher, the debut author of The Happy Place: Finding Your Own Way and Living to Your Full Potential.”

Yes, I changed the title. Seeing Stars? I couldn’t do that. Not after I made all my celebrity clients into anonymous composite case studies. No one knows that Chapter Seven is about Adeline or that Chapter Eleven is about Andrew. I didn’t want any celebrity status attached to the book.

Ming says I was trying to sabotage my success, but that’s not it.

I just don’t want the book to take off because of namedropping. That’s all.

“Please give her a warm welcome,” Karen says, as both she and Jose stand to clap. There is a small audience. And by small, I mean, like twenty people. It’s pathetically tiny. But I like it, and when I step out into the studio I give them a little wave.

“Eloise,” Jose says as I take a seat. “Welcome!”

Both he and Karen have been giddy with excitement all morning. I can’t imagine I will do anything for their ratings, but bless their hearts, they still believe in their show. The Stonewalls must as well, because it’s been running for eleven years and is always dead last when the numbers come in.

“Thank you,” I say. “I’m so happy to be here with you today.”

“So you launched a book—” Karen starts. And then she turns to look at the audience. “By the way, full disclosure. I’ve known Ellie, as we call her around here, for almost eight years now. She was a part of the Stonewall family until recently when she left to make her own way in the world.”

I smile, but there’s a little pain in my chest. Something akin to loss. Or sadness. Or regret. “I did, Karen, and thank you for that heartfelt introduction. I’m thrilled to be able to share my first book with you today after working on it for several years.”

“I hear that the case studies were based on real people, is that true?” Jose asks.

I nod, but squint my eyes at him. I told them not to say anything about the celebrity clients. “Yes, Jose, that is technically true. But their identities have been hidden and each study is a composite of several cases.”

“Really?” Karen says. “That’s so interesting.”

I force a smile. “Is it?” I want to slap her. Remind her that she promised not to bring it up. “I don’t think so. Not particularly. Every self-help book has case studies.”

“Yes,” Jose says. “But you know what’s funny, Ellie?”

“No…” I say, still forcing that smile. “Not really.” My cheeks might crack if I grin any wider.