Page 70 of Battle Scars

My voice is harsh and caustic even to my own ears, but I’m lost to my fear and my guilt. I need these men to let me go, and they won’t. Why won’t they leave?

“Just go,” I sob hysterically. “Go, go, go. Why won’t you go?”

“Because I can’t,” he says gently.

“You’re fired,” I shout as I grasp for any reason for him to let go. “I’m not your duty anymore. Now, you can let go.”

“No, baby, I can’t.”

“You have to,” I cry. “I won’t be your duty. I won’t be the reason you don’t make it home.”

“Don’t you know?” he asks quietly for my ears only. “I don’t have a home.”

His words make me want to cry even harder and once the dam lets go, there is no stopping it.

Gabe lifts me into his arms like I’m precious and carries me over to a chair. He sits and places me in his lap, holding me tight. I’m done. I’m so done. I have nothing left in me, so I just hold on, clinging to him, and let it out. I cry until I’m weak and exhausted.

Gabe tucks me into his arms, and I rest my head on his chest. He makes me feel safe and secure, cared for, and I firmly wish he didn’t. Because I know with all my heart that while this feels nice now, he’s not mine to keep, and getting used to being cared for this way would be a fatal mistake for my soul. That is, if it’s not too late already.

After a while, the door opens again, and a doctor steps through. I jump to my feet, and Gabe follows me. Manny, who’d stayed by the wall to give us some privacy, steps forward as well. Manny has said and shown to me that he wants me for Gabe; I can only imagine what he’s said to the man himself. I just wish he wouldn’t. It’s time to let dead horses lie.

“Are you here for Eli MacGuire?” the doctor asks.

“Yes, sir,” Manny says.

The doctor nods, then goes on. “I’m Dr. Williams, and I’ve been treating Mr. MacGuire since he arrived,” he explains. “He has a concussion, which initially seemed worse than it actually is, but I have full confidence he will be just fine in a few days.”

Thank God. I feel a wave of relief wash over me. Gabe touches the tip of his index finger to the back of my hand, letting me know it’s all going to be okay, reassuring me it’s going to work out.

“We’re going to keep him over night for observation and then release him in the morning,” the doctor adds. He really is going to be all right. “Visiting hours are over for today but start again at nine in the morning.”

“Thank you,” Gabe says.

“He’s really okay?” I can’t help but ask.

“You must be August.” He smiles gently at me. “He’s been asking for you.”

Gabe and Manny both visibly stiffen. The assumption that I’m his mystery woman from ten years ago is worrisome if Eli has been asking about her now. Gabe and Manny both look seriously concerned, and after my embarrassing meltdown, I need to smooth this over for them.

“No, no,” I say gently with a smile. “I’m Addie. His… friend.” I hope it’s not too far of a stretch to assume that we could really be friends if he wasn’t on a job to protect me and all that.

Actually, he probably wouldn’t. I’m just some girl who sleeps with his friend. How embarrassing is that?

“Oh,” Dr. Williams replies, sounding a little flustered. “My mistake. It’s nice to meet you.”

I’m nosy enough that I want to know just what our sweet Eli was saying about the mysterious August.

“It’s nice to meet you as well,” I respond. He clearly doesn’t watch racing or know who I am. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have mistaken me for Eli’s long-lost love. “And there’s no harm done.”

“Thank you,” Gabe says, redirecting the conversation. “We’ll be back in the morning.”

“Of course,” the doctor replies.

After the doctor goes through the heavy door to see to his patients, Gabe and Manny walk me back through the hospital to the parking lot.

“I’ll take her home,” Manny says, and I think I’m finally going to get a moment to collect my thoughts, but Gabe destroys my plans once again.

“No,” Gabe inserts. “I will.”