Page 59 of Battle Scars

I slow down and make my way off the track. My team unhooks me and pulls me from the car. I take one look at Erin and Rowan and see they are spitting mad.

“What the fuck was that?” Erin bites out.

“Nothing.” We all know it’s a lie. I don’t drive like that… ever—like I have a death wish. I make calculated risks and press my advantage.

“That’s bullshit,” Erin snaps.

“Erin—” Rowan tries to stop her from tearing me apart, but it’s no less than I deserve, and we all know it.

“You represent all of us,” she spits.

“I know.”

“No, you fucking don’t. Or else you wouldn’t have driven like that out there. You represent all women in racing. Show the world we deserve to be here, not behave like we’re childish little girls playing pretend in a man’s world.”

Fuck me. She’s right.

“I’m sorry,” I say honestly. “You’re right.”

“I know I am,” she snaps, still pissed at me, and then she takes a deep breath. “If you drive like that with other cars on the track, you won’t walk away from your car, Addie.”

“I know.”

“You’ll die like the rest.”

“I know.”

“Is that what you want?” she asks, and the sky breaks apart as rain falls heavy on us.

“No,” I whisper.

“Then get the fuck out of here.”

I turn and race toward my garage. There’s a quiet-down room toward the back. I need my candy stash and to be alone, now more than ever. I’ve just cleared the doorway when the first crack of thunder shakes the metal building. A hand grabs me, and I’m shoved against the wall.

“What the fuck was that?” Gabe roars in my face, and he looks pissed. No, he’s furious with me.

“What?” I can’t for the life of me figure out what would garner this kind of anger from him. He’s here to protect me from a psychopath, not my own bad decisions, and to be honest, if someone can shoot me at the speed I was driving, then they deserve to win the fight.

“Are you serious?” his voice is eerily calm and quiet.

“Yes.”

“You could have fucking killed yourself out there,” he snarls. “Are you crazy?”

“No?”

“Was that a question?”

“To be honest, I have no idea,” I answer as calmly as I can, because really, I have no idea. I was stupid; I know, but no one got hurt. I pull in a deep breath before pushing it out. I feel no less frustrated with my life than I was before I hit the track and Gabe isn’t helping. “I’m fine. Nothing happened. It was stupid to drive like that, but I’m fine, and so is everyone else. Now I have to take shelter until the lightning passes, so I’m going to do it in my down room.”

He just watches me for a bit before something seems to snap inside him, and he mutters, “Fuck it.”

“What?”

“You already hate me,” he says, catching me off guard.

“I don’t hate you.”