Page 44 of Battle Scars

Now, it’s like a fix. We’re addicts, and we can’t stop. Gabe and I are awful to each other during the day, but in the dark where we keep our secret addictions, we can’t stay away from each other. It has to come to an end.

I feel awful. My heart hurts, because like the stupid human that I am, I want to be loved and cherished. Gabe may be a god, complete with a miraculous body and a cock he wields like a weapon, but he holds no affection for me. In fact, the exact opposite is clear. I’m pretty sure he hates me more and more every day.

Only under the cover of night, does he show me a sweet intimacy that I can’t deny. Like a drug, I want it. Like the air I need. But it’s not air. It’s tar and nicotine filling my lungs and slowly choking me, robbing me of the oxygen I need to breathe.

It has to stop.

“Hey, Addie,” Bobby says from behind me.

I startle, my eyes flitting away from the screen. I wonder how long I’ve been sitting here. I was supposed to be watching film of other drivers for the upcoming race, but instead, I saw nothing but my own heartbreak coming up like a bad crash.

“Hey, Bobby.”

“Film?” he asks as he nods to the screen.

“Yeah,” I reply, unable to hide the distraction in my voice. “What are you up to?”

“We were going to get some laps in.”

Realization washes over me; my time slot here at our facility has come and gone and no one told me. Shit. How long have I been sitting here like a mannequin?

“Oh damn, I’m sorry. I must have lost track of time.”

“That’s okay,” he responds with a smile. “I figured as much.”

“Yeah.”

“You look like you’ve got a lot on your mind.”

“No more than the next girl.” I shrug.

Something tells me not to share all of my deepest fears and secrets with him. But that can’t be right. Bobby is my oldest friend. We practically grew up together.

Even though we’ve been pitted against one another, I hope we’ll be able to move past this after one of us wins the control of DHR. But there’s a little voice in the back of my mind whispering that maybe we won’t.

“Let me take you out tonight,” he says, surprising me again.

“What?”

“Go out with me tonight,” he repeats.

I look at him, really look at him through different eyes. Bobby’s a handsome guy. Any woman would be lucky to go out with him. He’s always been nice to me. Maybe this is the answer to my prayers. I’ve never thought of Bobby that way before, but we have so much in comon. We have the same career, and we both grew up in awe of both my father and grandfather.

Not to mention if I started dating Bobby, I would have a legitimate excuse to end things with Gabe. I wish I were strong enough to walk away, but I’m not.

I know that’s not fair to Bobby or to me, but the opportunity is there, and I want to grab it with both hands. If we end up together, we could run DHR as a couple. Maybe this is what my dad wanted all along. For Bobby and me to find our way together and rule the racing world side by side as the ultimate power couple.

“I’d love to.”

“Great,” he says, smiling that bright white, winning smile. “I’ll pick you up at six. Dress nice.” And then he turns and leaves the room.

I quickly pick up my things and make my way to the locker room to pack up the belongings in my locker. When I turn to walk out, Gabe is there, staring at me, but he doesn’t say a word. He just leads me out to his SUV and drives me home. We don’t speak as he checks the house or as we settle in for the evening.

This is what’s been swirling in my brain. We can’t love each other at night, only to tear each other apart in the daylight.

I need to run off some of this weird energy, so I decide to change and get a quick workout in before I dress for dinner. I’m sure that a hard run will wear out a lot of my nerves. I step onto the treadmill in my home gym and press the Start button. The tread has just begun to move, when I see movement at the door. Gabe is there, watching me, and I stumble over my own feet.

“W-What are you doing here?” I stammer, steadying myself with the handbars.