Page 29 of Dance Practice, Marooned: Part 2

Zeke starts to drag Tati away, pinning her arms to her sides. She writhes and screams, but she is no match for him. They disappear down the beach. I glance at Rachel and Ace, then turn just in time to see Aggie running off towards the rocks.

“I’ll go,” I say to Rachel. “Make sure Tati is okay.”

Rachel nods, and jogs off.

I find Aggie sitting on a rock, tears rolling down her cheeks as she stares out at the ocean. I sit down beside her, bringing my knees up and leaning on them. “You okay?” I ask, knowing what the answer will be.

She doesn’t look up. “I didn’t want to hurt her. I know you all don’t believe me, but it wasn’t my intention.”

“Why did you do it then?” I ask, softly, carefully.

She looks to me, her eyes puffy and cheeks streaked with tears. “I just wanted a fucking chance,” Aggie says. “I knew she was using. I caught her taking pills. She was dancing so fucking good because she was high and letting everything go while the fucking rest of us had to work our arses off. I know it was wrong.”

“Yeah.” I try to keep my voice even, because if I don’t, we are all stuffed. “She should have heard it from you. You know that, right?”

She squeezes her hands into fists. “I know. At the time, I was just so fucking angry. Now, I know where I went wrong.”

I put my hand on her arm, and for almost a minute neither of us speak.

“You need to talk to her,” I say. “But not right now. Not for a while. Let her process this, let her cool down.”

Aggie nods, then wipes her face with the back of her hand. “She’ll never forgive me,” she mumbles. “If we ever get out of here, she’ll never even look at me again.”

“She might surprise you,” I say, even though I’m not sure I believe it. Then, quietly, “Or she might not, but you’ll have tried. That’s all you can do.”

She swallows, blinking at the sea. “Why are you even talking to me? You should hate me, too. I just made everything harder for everyone.”

I try for a laugh, but it comes out brittle. “Hate you? I could never hate you, and honestly, I don’t think Tati can either. It will be okay, it will.”

We sit like that for a while, in silence. At the water’s edge, the waves lurch in and out, never the same twice. The blue is so perfect it could swallow you whole, and for a moment, I want to let it: to let the ocean bleach all the rotten things out of us so we can be new again.

“I am starting to wonder now if we ever even stood a chance at being normal. You know? After what that bastard did to us—and all our training, and the way we lived for the stage, like it was the only place we actually mattered.” I pause, chewing the inside of my cheek. “We’re all the same, in the end. All just trying to find a way to survive.”

Aggie sniffs and nods, then draws her knees up to her chin. “I miss my mum,” she says, so quietly it nearly breaks me.

I don’t know what to say to that. So I just sit with her, both of us staring at the horizon, motionless while the world keeps turning.

I turn to look back at the others. Secrets have a way of getting out, don’t they? Like oil spills, like red wine on white linen. And now everything is stained, even the good memories. Even the pieces I wanted to keep.

I don’t know how we’ll make it out of this with any of us intact. But I know that, at least, I’ll be the one who tries.

The wind catches my hair, and I close my eyes, listening to the hiss of the waves, and the distant, ruined sound of Tati crying.

How the fuck do we come out of this?

“HEY.”

Space.

That’s what we have been giving Tatiana for the afternoon, but I don’t want to stay away any longer. I feel horrible for her, because I know that what happened with Aggie has changed everything. A friendship that has spanned through the years, grown through the hardest times, and is now balancing on the edge of a cliff. There is probably little I can do, but I have to at least make sure she’s okay.

She’s sitting in a patch of sand by the shoreline, letting waves wash up over her feet. She’s just staring, her face blotchy and red from crying. I feel for her, I truly do. It would feel like the world is closing down around her. Especially out here, where there is no escape. We have all had moments of desperation out here, where it feels like everything stops and there is no way out.

She doesn’t answer me.

“I’m not going to push you, Tati. I just want to check on you. I’m not even going to ask if you’re okay, because I know you’re not, but I just want to let you know I’m here. No matter what, I’m here.”

“Aggie is your best friend,” she finally whispers, low. “Don’t act like you’d ever take my side over hers.”