Page 5 of Our Monstrous Hearts

His gaunt hand is like ice, but all I can feel is warmth radiating from his presence, a strange kind of twisted safety. It’s as if my body subconsciously knows something that I don’t. I’m drawn into his touch, my heart settling in my chest.

If he treats me gently, with reverence instead of rage, if he ruins me softly, perhaps I’ll allow him to take everything from me, if that’s what he wants. My eyes trace over his strange features, seeing his unnaturally long, pointed ears, taking the opportunity while my heart is still to see who the demon of town whisperings is.

The stories say that his crumbling castle carries a curse, and all who come near it vanish, never to return. Clayton rarely lets me leave the house, not unless he’s escorting me somewhere, but even then, he prefers to lock me away. I don’t pay much attention to the warnings about the monster. An unknown threat isn’t a concern, not when I live with the devil himself.

For now, I can forget about Clayton and his hard hands and even harsher words. For a moment, I can pretend that this creature is my knight in shining armor, who has saved me from my tower and answered my prayers. He told me that he wasn’t an angel, but he could be mine.

“I claim you, flesh and soul forevermore,” he vows fiercely. I feel his previous softness flee as his blackened talons cut into my cheek. It is a reminder that I shouldn’t forget what he is—a monster.

And yet, even when faced with a beast, I am conflicted. Do I truly wish for this god of death to use me as he pleases, based on a wishful dream that perhaps I can find a way out of my living nightmare? But if this vile monster doesn’t kill me in some gruesome way, then Clayton surely will.

My chest tightens, dread weeping through my ribs as nausea coils in my stomach. I have to get home. Oh god. Tears prick in the corners of my eyes, my chin wobbling as the tremors shudder through my body. I know with certainty in this moment that I am more scared of the man, the supposed love of my life, waiting at home than this monster. Clayton is going to kill me.

The monster’s fingers grip my chin, and I’m forced back into my body, blinking past the blurriness and into the present.

My tear-filled hazel eyes hold his red, and I watch as a blackness infects the whites like a deadly virus. His spell entraps me as I watch the redness whirl around in circles with a dizzied gaze. My jaw slackens, my body swaying softly to the side as if I’m hearing music. There are no thoughts. There’s only him.

The room flickers like it’s amiss within space before beginning to undulate. The creature duplicates, becoming ten, his terrifying, wide grin pushing me to the point of vertigo as he spins around me. My stomach lurches as the movements get faster and faster, like I’m stuck on an uncontrollable ride destined to crash. All I can see is shades of red. Carmine, scarlet, maroon twist together in psychedelic waves as everything shifts, objects morphing into bright patterns that rotate and mirror each other, folding over and over, over and over until everything drops.

I feel myself plummeting.

Instead of crashing into the bed, I fall straight through the ground, arms flailing, too fast to scream, just like Alice falling into Wonderland.

Chapter V

Cassandra

The ground bites my knees as a sweltering heat ripples against my skin. Immediate claustrophobia blooms in the warmth, thick and stifling, as the heat draws each breath from my lungs.

I’m left gasping, staring at the stone ground as my vision readjusts to new surroundings. The panic from the heat fades. Something sharper and hotter surges in its place—rage.

“God damn it,” I gasp out. “God damn…everything.”

Peace never finds someone like me. Life will always be cruel and unfair, and an impossible choice stands before me.

I slap the searing ground, shrieking as tear-laced sweat drips from my forehead.

Maybe I’m dreaming. Cursed, trapped in some nightmare.

But perhaps the monster has taken me. If what is happening is real, I don’t know what I’ll do.

Clayton will never believe me when I find my way back home. He will hit me, call me a whore, and force himself on me.

Or, I could stay here, if this isn’t a dream. I did call out for someone to take me away.

The fury dissipates as quickly as it came, leaving only the familiar weight of exhaustion and defeat that accompany my most common bedfellow––lack of control, of choices, of being anywhere other than backed into a corner. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do.

At least if I were to return home I would know what to expect.

Clenching a fist, I reluctantly push myself up to kneel, wincing from the cuts that lace my knees.

Existing has always felt like a punishment. What had I done in a past life to deserve this fate? If I were braver, though, I wouldn’t be here at all. I would end my life permanently.

I don’t notice the bonfire until I’m on my knees. My eyes widen as I take in the room, where flames explode in every direction, a blazing, infernal cage that traps me inside.

It takes a moment for my brain to understand what my eyes are seeing.

Bodies convulse in a vulgar dance, moving to a silent, drumming beat—demons with glistening red skin, twisting horns, and devilish tails, tangled with naked humans in a frenzy of limbs, and lust, and depraved abandon.