Page 6 of All The Ways to Miss You

“Your pipes, dummy.” She rolls her eyes.

“Ha! See? I can be funny.”

Aggie makes a game-show buzzer noise like I’m wrong.

“So, who’s fixing them?” she repeats, smiling as she anticipates my answer.

I return to the couch and sit, ignoring her. When she clears her throat with displeasure, I huff. “You already know who.”

“Mm-hmm, sexy landlord Evan.” She inhales the aroma of her coffee with fluttering eyelids and a swaying chin, like she’s devouring his image.

“Ew, no,” I respond too fast with a wrinkled nose. The second I do, I know my disgust appears fake.

I take another sip to hide my face. She’s right, although I don’t want her to know she is. He’s painfully attractive, but showing interest in any man would set her off.

“Will he be the first on your list to unapologetically bang?”

Frustrated, I smack the cushion. “How do you remember that from last night and nothing else?”

“I remember the important stuff.”

“You forgot that plan was for you. Not me. A slightly important detail. Besides, I could never do the one-night-stand thing.” I race through my words, becoming defensive.

“Mm-hmm.” Aggie keeps her cool and peers over the top of her coffeepot. Her shark mitt eyes me with seriousness, so I turn my gaze in a new direction, becoming very interested in a section of chipped paint on the closest wall.

Have I before? I’m unsure. I wasn’t even sure if I was a virgin after. That is, until a gynecologist reported I might not technically be. It’s strange to know I may have slept with someone but have no idea who he was . . . or who they were.

This information isn’t something the two people who claim to be my parents would know when they schooled me on my past. They focused on family, their memories of everyone around me, or their memories of my youth.

I shiver, recalling their lessons. This is Uncle Joe. That’s Aunt Meredith. You were best friends with your cousin Samantha. You liked vanilla, not chocolate. You believed in the tooth fairy until you were twelve. You didn’t even want your driver’s license; you were too scared to drive.

While I was attending Northwalton University in Chicago, they had no clue who I was becoming as an adult. They lived in Maryland, seven hundred miles away. I was on my own for three years before returning home in a broken state.

So I keep quiet, ignoring Aggie’s baiting. The problem is she’s planted a bothersome seed. It nags at me, sprouts arms, and grows, rooting its way into my thoughts. My jittery foot taps the floor, because now I’m curious to know if I could have a one-night stand, and if I could with Evan.

I shake my head, pushing the thought away. Ridiculous. He’s annoying. He’s cocky.

My fingers tighten around the handle of my mug. I take too large a sip and burn my tongue.

“I hate him,” I say, but the lie burns more.

“Then he’s perfect. You’ll sleep with him and move on.”

three

I enter the offices of Grayson & Wade in the Loop. A modern silver logo for G&W is emblazoned on the wall behind our receptionist, Lou.

When I approach his desk, he lifts his catlike gaze as if sensing me. He leisurely taps the end of a pen on the hollow of his cheek. I attempt a guilty smile, but this gesture doesn’t put him at ease. Instead, his eyes narrow into displeased slits. He’s ticked, and he has every right to be. Am I a bad friend? A bad coworker? I’m not sure what we are. He was friends with Aggie first, but then she pulled me into their tight circle.

Unlike other times, today I came prepared. I set a peace offering on his desk—a Mr. Moon’s to-go cup.

“You think a raspberry macchiato is going to make everything better?” Lou’s dark sculpted eyebrow arches.

Knowing this wouldn’t be enough to appease his queenly high-maintenance persona, I remove a Get Dunked Up doughnut bag from my purse and set it beside the coffee and wait.

“Lemon pistachio?” He eyes it suspiciously.

“And a peanut butter bacon,” I add with confidence.