Page 35 of All The Ways to Miss You

“One night,” Evan says. “That’s all it can be. The other thing I said was true. Even if I want more, I can’t. It’ll only be tonight.”

I repeat his words with an eager nod. “One night.”

After our agreement, I don’t rush into his arms, mostly because I’m shocked he’s giving in. A small piece of me wanted to deny him when this moment came, a petty act of revenge, but I can’t. The past he’s hinted at runs much deeper than his words, and I shouldn’t open that box. This was never a game to hurt him.

He reaches out and traces a finger along an invisible line on my arm, causing me to quiver. His palm follows, warm and enveloping. It wraps around my shoulder and glides across the sloping outline of my neck, skipping over the strap of my tank top. I press myself into his sensual and hesitant touch.

He sets the pace, but he’s not in a rush to take me. He’s exploring slowly. This isn’t a race. I read the signs in every move he makes.

He steps closer until we’re eye to eye. When his palm settles on the nape of my neck, I suck in a breath, still amazed this is actually happening. We’re connected now, but there’s still a lingering question behind his eyes. He tilts his head.

“Are you sure?” he asks.

I nod because I can’t bring myself to say the words. Even with our agreement, I want him, but I’m not sure I’ll forget him after tonight. Something in me can’t commit to that detail, but I’ll take the small part of himself he can give me.

No matter the consequences, I forge ahead. God knows I have my own issues. This side of him I understand.

If I follow Aggie’s rules of the romance universe, I should forget this night in the blink of an eye, but I’m already questioning her logic when Evan’s lips move closer to mine. My eyelids become heavy.

His breath contrasts against the chill on my skin. He moves closer, and his warmth rushes in like a comforting blanket. With his body heating mine, he melts away my nervousness. Strong fingers reach along my lower back. Small in his embrace, I’m gathered close until we’re chest to chest, pelvis to pelvis, and touching everywhere. My breathing deepens and my gaze focuses on his lips. They’re inching closer. His exhale warms my face. And then . . . contact.

His lips sink into me, like submerging into a warm bath. My insides awaken at our connection as nerve endings fire and spark. Every part of him—lips, arms, and body—collide with my world, like we’re magnetically drawn together.

Our mouths part and tongues stroke in a heaven-filled state of starry-eyed discovery. This is everything I imagined, but not with Evan. He’s not in a fury to consume me like I envisioned. What he’s doing is making love. He’s kissing me like we’ve been together forever.

I allow him to continue because the moment it happens, I realize I’m desperate for the bond, even if it’s a facade. Maybe he needs this too.

There’s always been something missing in my life. I’ve never been in love with anyone. Not in a friend way, or even a family way. Not in the after.

I’ve dreamed of it, hoped for it, but I’m not dumb enough to believe I’m in love with Evan. No. But at least here I can pretend to be. With a few blazing kisses, he makes me believe what’s happening between us is real.

For tonight, I’ll allow myself to be loved.

Lost in those thoughts, I relent to his magic. My hands travel over the soft cotton of his T-shirt until his heart thumps in wild beats beneath my hand. Dropping them to his waist, I tug his shirt loose and draw it over his head, eager to feel his skin against mine. He removes my tank with the same fervor. We disconnect long enough to toss the tops aside, and then we’re on each other, kissing once more. Hot skin presses against skin. Our arms tangle. We’re searching for any way to be closer.

As we kiss, his hands glide along the line of my spine. They dip beneath the fabric of my night shorts, where his large hands palm my ass. They circle my hips, making their way to my stomach where thumbs inch their way north until his hands caress my breasts.

His mouth breaks away from mine to explore the new territory. His tongue circles my breasts, his teeth tease my nipples, and then he drops to his knees as if worshipping me.

My head falls back, and I moan accepting my fate. He grasps my hips, fingers hooking into my sleeping shorts, and I jolt at the newness of being touched there. He drags them over my hips, past the curve of my thighs, and they fall to the floor, landing in a puddle at my feet. Now I’m completely exposed.

My heart skipping, I stiffen with anticipation of what he’ll do to me. I glance down, and he fixes me with those dark, soulful eyes.

“You’re so beautiful.” He breathes the words out slowly, one at a time. That sentence, those words and letters, they dance along the slopes of my bare skin, awakening every inch of my body. The hair on the nape of my neck rises. Goose bumps flourish, spreading like wildfire. He’s thought of me like I’ve thought of him.

His needy hands return to my hips, firm fingertips sinking into my flesh, and he settles a soft kiss on the edge of my panties. My eyes roll back as heat blooms at the point of contact. Wet lips press determined kisses in a cool, sensual trail leading from one hip bone to the other. And at the end, his greedy fingers twist into the elastic and drag my panties off. His lips follow, traveling south, farther and farther until there’s one place I need them to touch more than any other. I’m wet and waiting.

One minute I’m standing, and the next, Evan carries me across the room and seats me on the couch. With my back pressed into the cushion, he kneels on the floor before me and lifts my thighs over his shoulders.

This may only be for tonight, but with this beautiful man locked between my legs, I’m enjoying every second.

As I imagine what comes next, he commands my body, sliding me forward until my sex meets his mouth. The contact causes me to cry out in surprise. He responds by gripping my thighs and locking me in place. The hot air from his mouth warms the space between my legs, coaxing them open. He spreads me wide and dives in as if he’s hungry for my taste.

In one soul-awakening kiss, I’ve found nirvana. As his velvety tongue takes defined licks on my clit, a moan forms somewhere deep inside my body, rings in my ears, and escapes with my panting breaths. My hands clench the sides of the cushion.

“Evan.” His name is a whisper on my lips, but he reacts, seeming determined to make it the only word I’ll ever say again.

My fingers thread into his thick hair, but not for guidance. I’m holding on for dear life because Evan’s an expert, knowing where to touch, where to suck, where to bite, and how to use his fingers. With each assertive movement, I lose more control, writhing beneath him.